The Gauche Life

DFW

2011-04-09T22:08:00.001-04:00

"...DFW was so damned good at writing that you can’t really believe what you’re reading. If it renders you speechless it won’t be because the prose has taken your breath away, but because you suddenly feel unworthy to be speaking the same language as someone who has so obviously and completely mastered the art of bending it to his will. And if it makes you sad, it will have less to do with the book itself and more to do with the fact that The Pale King is the last you’re ever going to get from the greatest American writer of this generation. That’s it. That’s all. Show is over, folks. You don’t have to go home, but you can’t stay here."

I felt the same way when I read Infinite Jest, but I am so very excited to read The Pale King

Blog from Thought Catalog

Today.

2010-10-16T08:49:00.000-04:00

Every fall I am again amazed by the passage of time.

This October 16, Mom's been gone for 3 years and it seems like all of a sudden I'm married and in law school and living in New Hampshire and thinking about moving to California.

I have no real insights to add this year, nor did I have insights last year.

Perhaps my only one is that it's exhausting to never be able to stop missing somebody.

Mom, I love you and miss you. Kory is doing well as replacement mom, but he's not as pretty as you were.

I wear your absurd wedding ring everyday.

I carry your heart in my heart.

Two years ago, I wrote this.

2010-10-15T20:46:00.001-04:00

October 16, 2008

The day came and went, and it was remarkably like any other day.

My mood waxed and waned, and it was remarkably like any other day.

All over the world, people went about their business, and it was remarkably like any other day.

Last Thursday marked one year.

Do I have to say more than that?

I had been depressed most of Monday. Too much time alone leads to too much thinking leads to existential crisis and despair.

I passed by the bench I was at when I first found out that she had cancer. I sat on that bench for hours, crying, and here I was, back on that goddamn bench, crying.

Sometimes, the more things change, the more they stay the same.

I thought of all The Lasts: The Last Time I Spoke to Her, The Last Time I Spoke to Her And She Spoke Back. The Last Time I Hugged Her, The Last Time I Hugged Her And She Hugged Back, The Last Time Her Eyes Were Open, The Last Time I Watched Her Cook Dinner, The Last TV Show We Watched Together, The Last Time She Stood On the Driveway and Waved Goodbye to Me as I Backed Out. This list could go on forever.

The more mundane the memory, the better.

Thursday arrived, as promised. No amount of personal anguish stops the steady march of time.

I was fine until 10:30, which is the first time I cried that day.

I didn't cry because I missed my mom, which I do.

I didn’t cry because I felt like an orphan, which sometimes I do.

I didn't cry because the world is a dark uncertain place, which sometimes it is.

I cried because of two text messages I got about my plans for the day. I cried from joy.

One was from Tim, the guy I’ve been seeing and it said: “Morning, sweetie. I hope whatever it is you have planned today turns out the way you need it to. I’ll be thinking about you all day. Xoxo.”

One was from Sameen, my hetero life partner and it said: “What do you think about today? Do you want me to come with?”

The former made me cry because it’s filled with the promise of a new relationship, the thrill that someone out there is thinking of you and your well being, and the realization that someone really cares for you, even though you just met them. It's a warm feeling that anyone is lucky to have.

The latter made me cry because in that instant, I realized that if she wasn’t in my life, I would have killed myself long ago. When I went through everything, it wasn’t just me alone, she was experiencing them all with me in a way that no one else did. The constant phone call updates that I would relay, the first real conversations I had about the possibility Mom would die, the question, "Do I pack black clothes?," the support to change life paths, she was the first person I called after it happened. It’s a simple text fraught with personal meaning and understanding and warmth.

The only way I can describe the rest of my day is to preface it with this statement: It was like I was a character undergoing catharsis in a novel.

I left work at about 12:30 and took a long walk home without my glasses on, just thinking, internalizing, ruminating. At the very moment I reached my apartment, it started raining.

I cried in the shower for an hour. I shivered, I was scalded, I sat in the bathtub sobbing. Moments of calm interspersed with hysterical crying, presented in a way only bathroom acoustics can provide.

I died in that tub, and the water washed it away.

A voice in my head simply said, "Enough." And it was.

I went up to a Buddhist temple in Cambridge, lit three sticks of incense, paid my respects, and just talked to mom for an hour.

I took another long walk to finish my day, and I did something I knew I wanted to do for a long time, but wasn't too sure of in the past.

It's deeply personal, and while a few very dear people in my life do know about it, I'd rather not discuss it. Even I have my blog limits.

The minute I left to go home, I said to myself, Today is a New Day, and so is Tomorrow. You can Do It, and you're doing it Right Now. And You Are Doing Okay.

It was only one day, one day of 365 that she's been gone, but it was very important to me. It illuminated a lot... a lot of different things, some greatly outside the scope of her passing.

Only two people let me know they were thinking about me on Thursday. Not that I expected everyone I've ever met to send a "I'm sorry yer Ma's dead" text, or email, or phone call, but it's a strange feeling to think that the people who used to be the closest to you are wrapped up in their own lives and jobs and responsibilities, and that Thursday was just another Thursday, instead of being THE Thursday. Some I didn't expect anything from, but some... some really hurt.

But that's the Nature of loss, and grief. It is truly no one's but your own. I was incredibly touched by the two people who did take that one minute out of their day. One came from someone who I can't say I expected to hear from, but who I know can relate with me in the worst way possible. The other, someone I love and miss, who I know will always be there.

Yes, I do get by with a little help from my friends, but at the end of the day, if most of that isn't from myself, then it doesn't work.

I think I had the best day I could possibly have had on Thursday. The dizzying highs, the terrifying lows, the existential crisis, the long walks, the baptism, the pain, oh dear God, the pain, the catharsis, the beginning of a resolution, the healing, the future.

I ended my day by having a nice dinner with Tim and then falling asleep to the Red Sox game. An ordinary ending to a really big day.

I'd have it no other way.

Two and a half years ago, I wrote this.

2010-10-15T20:42:00.001-04:00

April 14, 2008

When mom died, a lot of people told me that I was lucky, that she was lucky, because it had happened so fast and she didn't suffer much. I generally agreed with that sentiment at the time, but the more I think about it, the more I want to say, what about all the things I was supposed to learn from her? What about all those family stories I needed to be told about one more time? What about the things I was supposed to teach my own children? What about that one dish that you always made that I loved - how did that go again? What about those things that only mothers know about their own children? Will anyone know those things about me again? What? What? Why? WHY?

An exercise in futility and frustration.

The last time I saw my mom alive, it was right before dad was going to drive me to the airport to go back to Boston. It was early morning and she was sitting up in her hospital room looking out the window. I remember thinking how sad she looked, and if she was surveying her life.

When I flew home to say my goodbyes, I accidentally caught the middle knuckle of my right hand on something and caused a small nick. The scar is still there today. Sometimes I look at it and imagine that it is the cause of all my misfortunes.

I saw and I felt so much in those few days. Mostly things I did not want to see or feel. We laughed, we cried, we cried so hard we had to laugh, we laughed so hard we had to cry. We questioned, we accepted, we murmured, we graciously accepted condolences. We yelled, we screamed, I begged God, I became pious, I renounced God. We ate, we slept, we pissed, we shat, we were normal. And still, she died.

Man is born, Man lives, Man dies.

I was recently reading "Extremely Loud & Incredibly Close" by Jonathan Safran Foer and one of the characters said something that resonated with me.

"That night I told her what I had seen. She made me promise never to speak a word about it. I promised her. She said, Why should I believe you?
I wanted to tell her, Because what I saw would no longer be mine if I talked about it."

I saw so many things I would never wish for anyone else to see or experience and now its inside of me, festering, eating away at me, preying on my sanity, my own mental cancer. It's mine. And I need to get it out. I have so much I want to say, so much I want to share, but I find myself unable.

I'm trying. I'm trying to get it all out. Put it down on paper, put it in cyberspace. This is real. This happened. Deal with it. So I write on here. God knows who reads it. Getting the phrases "When my mom died," "My mom died," "My mother is dead." into my head, into my mouth, rolling off of my tongue. Guess why, Michelle. It happened.

I listen to music, I cry, I ride public transportation, I write, I deal, I think, I ruminate, I stew.

I tell myself: It will be OK.

Will it?

Yes, Michelle, it will.

You will be OK.

Will I?

Three years ago, I wrote this.

2010-10-15T20:37:00.002-04:00

October 15, 2007

It was a ten days ago that I was back at home. My mom had had a minor heart spasm, and was getting a cyst removed. Nothing scary, but a bit worrying. It was a week ago that I was wrapping my head around the fact that my mother was diagnosed with stage 4 lung cancer that had spread to her brain and lymph nodes and she was starting radiation. Right now, I am wrapping my head around the fact that she will be gone within the week. Day? Hour? I can't be sure.

I don't know what I'm feeling anymore. I don't know what I'm supposed to feel. Crying. The crying is pretty much a constant state. I'm angry, confused, and overwhelmed with a feeling that life isn't fair. What a surprise. Life sucks.

We're in 4 West, the oncology unit. We started just across the hall, in 4 East telemetry, two weeks ago. In 4 West, the nurses are nicer, and tell you things like how they believe in "making her as comfortable as possible" and that you don't have to follow visiting hours. Our nurse found us extra pillows and a recliner. No one else here has visitors that stay the night, most people are here from nursing homes.

I feel like a string of improbables brought my family to where we are today. An enlarged lymph node on her collarbone that resulted in her getting sick from a rare IV dye reaction. A dose of medication that was too strong for her, which made her feel terrible. A heart spasm brought on by that stress. An abnormal lymph node biopsy that lead to another CT and an MRI that revealed stage 4 lung cancer, with metastasis to the brain and lymph. Disseminated intravascular coagulation caused by the adenocarcinoma which caused bleeding problems with her biopsy site, her PICC line, and eventually caused a stroke. Can't treat the cancer because of the DIC, so her lungs are filling up with fluid. Can't cure the DIC because it's caused by the cancer. I saw her have a seizure tonight.

My mother was.. well, she was my mother. I love her. What a stupid thing to say. Of course I love her. I spoke to her last Wednesday, and she was her normal self. We talked about how I saw Hillary Clinton speak and who she was going to vote next year. She yelled at me for having a cold, and told me that I should wear scarves more often. We talked about how when she got better, we would all take a trip to Europe. She had always planned on going to Europe when she retired.

I miss her. I might miss her more now then when she's gone. I can see her now. And she's my mom. My little mommy. And she's not there anymore. She looks at you, but she's not looking at you. She shifts restlessly. She doesn't hear you anymore. She's just so tired and her brow is always furrowed. I keep expecting her to say something, or do something, but, well, its just not going to happen ever again.

We moved out of the ICU ever since her doctor told us that she just wasn't going to survive this. Its not like we expected her to pull through and still be mom, its just that when a doctor makes it a point to tell you, well... shit just got realer. They stopped giving her IV fluids, took her off all the monitoring equipment, stopped the regular plasma and cryo she was getting to replace her clotting factors, stopped drawing blood from her, and started giving her morphine. At this point, its all about comfort. End of the line.

So now, we wait. Won't be long now.

Hypercaffeinated thoughts

2010-05-20T15:22:00.001-04:00

Well, it was time for our daily trip to Starbucks and I decided that instead of an iced coffee I would get an Iced Americano with an extra shot. Four shots of espresso later, I feel like I can barely contain my blood within my veins. So what better time that now to ramble for a little bit? Certainly, there is much work to be done, but the crayon rings are packed and I shouldn't be let near a sewing machine in this state.

Timsters and I were in NYC last weekend, and it was overwhelming. Even being in Boston can be overwhelming these days. We had a vision of our future and it's most likely set in a remote part of Maine. New Hampshire turned us into country people.

I was thinking about how Tim, and all of the people who I met/saw this weekend are makers (like vampire Bill in True Blood, am I right???) and they just assume that everyone else makes something too, when in reality, most normal people don't make anything. Makers have always impressed me. Like when I first met Sameen and she had a purse that she crocheted herself. I mean, thats impressive. Point being, I've never been a maker, and now Tim's kinda got me into the mindset that basically anything you see, you can make yourself. It's a slippery slope (see: Tim deciding he could rebuild a whole van in two months).

I made a 15 minute quilted iPad case last night and although yes, I will probably be making a more polished one, this one serves the purpose quite well. It's weird for me to think that I can make things on the sewing machine now.

And yes, I bought an iPad. And yes, it's just like a giant iPhone that can't make calls. And yes, it's awesome. Unfortunately, one of its main functions is to help facilitate studying for the patent bar. Booooo-urns.

Can you believe LOST is ending? We've been together since 2004, doesn't that MEAN anything to you, LOST?? Also, upsetting that characters keep dying at an alarming rate.

Okay, Mr Madman Timmy needs van help so I gotta laser outta here PEWWWWWWWW

- Posted using BlogPress from my iPad

Ma's Day

2010-05-09T20:07:00.003-04:00

To my mother:

Thanks for everything, I love you.

Wish you could see how things are coming together.

I miss you every day.

Yayyyyy!

2010-04-29T19:39:00.002-04:00

Time is flying by. We leave May 13th!

Forgot about the Steve Powers murals in Philadelphia and remembered them today and got super excited to see them in person :)

A Love Letter for You

This excitement reminded me that one of my favorite artists, Kelsey Brookes, is based in San Diego, but no current shows :(

I can't afford either artist's original works but prints are fair game.

I already have a Kelsey print from RVCA, but now I'm saving up for an Espo print...

It's only 99 Pounds! ... only?

Ahhhh my brain is too excited right now

No compromises works! (maybe)

2010-04-19T14:54:00.005-04:00

One thing I learned from Tim was that sometimes you have to throw a tantrum.

Through a variety of mistakes (theirs) and my penchant for last minute EVERYTHING, I was going to be short 5 yards of fabric for the van quilt I'm making.

While letting the news sink in, I put on makeup to calm me down. Ugh, I'm such a girl.

I went outside to tell Tim the quilt wouldn't be done and then threw a tantrum about how I didn't want to change anything and that's that.

I went inside, felt better, and called the fabric company for more information on who sells this particular fabric.

They directed me to a place in Oregon, I gave them a ring, confirmed the fabric by checking the color of the selvage edge (maroon/pink, NOT blue), gave them my debit card number, and that was that.

Thanks tantrum, and thanks VISA.

I'm exhausted now.

APRIL??!?

2010-04-15T14:20:00.005-04:00

Well, one indication that you haven't been up to date on your blog is that when you go to type in the address, you type tha guache life instead of the gauche life. My b. Although, Tha Guache Life does have a ring to it...

By the way, it's the middle of April, how did that happen???

Athens was good and Santorini was better, but I'll be honest with you, I don't forsee another trip to the Hellenic area. On Santorini, you get to ride ATVs on the road. ITS THE BEST.

Here's a picture of me with a dog that followed us from Syntagma / Parliament to Lycabettus Hill. I wanted to take him home :(

We even visited some young Greek designers at Greece is for Lovers and bought some souvenirs. Heh heh heh.

I was home for a few short days, and then I was off on a Caribbean cruise with JP, Jaclyn, Craig, and Rob. It was glorious and I got five years worth of Vitamin D. We went fishing, touched sea turtles, snorkeled, got seasick, got sunburned, went river tubing, swam in an Emerald Pool, sang an amazing rendition of Bohemian Rhapsody, had the BEST hot sauce, and in general, loved life.

I can't wait to get back on an island and spend some real time there... <3 you, Caribbean.

And now, now our days are filled with trip planning and quilt making. Timmy has been working like a crazy man and you can often hear loud noises and swear words emanating from Vanpira. She's looking good though! Tim wrote a post about his progress over on Vanpire Weekend.

It's been rainy rainy rainy here for the past few days. Sad town. But yea, I know, April Showers, blah blah blah.

2ND ANNUAL KIANG FAMILY VACATION!!!!!!!

2010-03-16T21:38:00.002-04:00

We're like the Griswolds except not as hilarious and more drunk! And we're going to Athens and Santorini for ten days!

But yes, it's that time of year again. Family vacation time!

Pretty soon after Mom died, all of us knew that we would no longer really be a cohesive family. We were living in three different places, and when you lose the glue that binds you together (well at least the glue that binds Cindy and I to our father), there is much less incentive to gather at holiday time. This last Christmas, Dad didn't come home, and while Tim and I spent pre-holiday time with Cindy and Kory, I spent Christmas with the Liles in New York. We're not stupid, the Kiangs, although we are silly, and we knew that the only way to motivate us to gather at least once a year was a family vacation.

It's sad that a death was the only thing that jarred us into spending more time as a family, but sometimes, that's just how life is. You never realize how important things are until something comes along and challenges it.

Last year, we invaded London & Barcelona. Our stay in London coincided with the protests / riots against the G8. We bonded as a family over lots of jamon and a shared terrifying hooker fight in the streets.

This year, our visit to Athens coincides with the um.. collapse of the Greek economy. I hope we can bond over olives, spit roasted meats, and liquor. And, Timmy is coming!

Next year, if you have any suggestions for a country you would like ruined in some way, feel free to make a suggestion.

ALSO! Feel free to make suggestions as to what to do in Athens and Santorini (I'm asking you, the Greekest people I know, Mr M William Panek and White Michelle)

So goodbye forever, jerks. Have fun in America.

Just kidding. I'll be back. And I don't think you guys are jerks. You are all wonderful, lovely people.

Pew pew pew laser noises

2010-03-03T22:13:00.002-05:00

I've been making a lot of laser noises recently. No idea why, but I am definitely wishing there was some sort of dance song out there that uses laser noises. Um.. anyone have any leads on that?

Tim and I started a blog about our road trip! I've been writing about things we want to do and see and he will start writing when van remodeling gets underway. Check it out at: Vanpire Weekend

Whenever we tell anyone the name of the blog they always have the same deadpan reaction: oh. I get it. Like the band. That's clever. We meant the lame pun, I swear. Nothing funnier than puns, right?

February was a busy month, well as busy as a month could be when a person is unemployed and doesn't want to contribute to society in any way. We got a new puppy... and then had to give him back due to my allergies :(:(:(:(:( which is probs good because then we would be weirdos with two chihuahuas. I finished my first quilt, which was a delight. I'm getting started on my second one right now. I also went ice fishing, which was awesome. I started going to the gym, as I am prone to do during the cold months, when my ass gets to unbearable proportions.

Oh yeah, maybes the biggest news of the month is that I decided to stay here in NH for law school instead of going to California. Turns out I kind of like the winter. And that I can be bought rather easily with some scholarship money. More the latter than the former.

So it's at least 3 more years here for the Kiang-Liles-Freddie clan and rest assured, we will be living free for all 3 of those years.

And as for the thorniest of all months, Smarch, there is also much planned. Smarch is always the first month that people remember that spring is coming back! YEA! So there is more excitement in the air. Damion is having a show in Portland and we are going to hang out there for a weekend, we're going to a Celtics game (still kinda exciting? even though they lost to the Nets... eesh), I'm attending an orientation at Pierce Law, and we're going to Greece mid month! Before I know it, it'll be time for a Caribbean cruise (early April) and then gigantic road trip (May???)

Spring is coming! Spring is coming! Spring is coming! YEA!

Listen...

2010-01-13T16:26:00.003-05:00

I know that I was in AmeriCorps for a year, and that gives me a gigantic sense of "fuck you, I never have to volunteer again," but how can you not donate anything to Haiti right now? When I was tutoring in Boston, my favorite students were from Haiti and always spoke about how bad things were there but how much they loved it. You don't even have to get off of your gigantic red sweatpanted ass to do it (that refers specifically to me. I bought red sweatpants with elastics on the legs from Target for 7 dollars and I love them)

So text to donate. What is 10 dollars to you? It's 3 lattes, 2 beers, a bottle of wine, one pair of red sweatpants, or you know what? Just think of whatever asinine thing you are next going to spend 10 dollars on and know that you can do without it.

Yikes

2010-01-05T19:09:00.003-05:00

For a long time, I was totally paranoid about someone cutting off my ponytail on the subway / bus because I had read about assaults like that happening. Everyone I told this fear to denied the existence of this horrifying crime. WELL. READ IT AND WEEP BITCHES.

So glad I don't partake of public transportation on the reg anymore.

Also, I need to get a haircut. I'm below the belly button and my hair is even melted into the snow on our front step. (gross, I know)

Can't sleep, clowns will eat me

2009-12-08T01:52:00.003-05:00

Sometimes you talk to someone and you say something like "can't sleep, clowns will eat me" and they just look at you like you're an insane simpleton. I would rather those people not be in my life.

It's one of those nights where I am sleepy but not sleeping. When I lie in the bed, I just stare at the ceiling. Even my glow in the dark bear keychain has lost its phospholuminescent glow.

I'm really not sure phospholuminescent is a word.

Timmy is tossing and turning and dreaming about something that causes him to laugh derisively every fifteen minutes or so. The other night, he rolled over, said "I dont like that, I like this" and a few nights before that, it was sleep snapping of the fingers. Makes you wonder what you are mumbling about in your sleep and who knows the secret thoughts of your dream mind.

Up here in Portsmouth in this alternately cozy and freezing house, I feel very content. And I guess it surprises me. A year ago, I wouldn't have believed that I could be happy hanging out around a small house with a boy and a pup all day, sans job, in a New Hampshire town. A year ago, I was a different person, we all are to some degree. I feel relationships drifting apart and bobbing away, but I'm not worried for a few reasons.

That's the problem with contentment... where's the hunger? Once you stop wanting and desiring, you settle in and get mossy. I of course use the terms "settle in" and "get mossy" instead of "rust" and "become stale" to try and convey the comfortableness of the entire situation... I'm not sure many people are looking for that kind of contentment in their life.

And neither am I, well I mean, I don't want this forever, although I am very fond of it right now. So I'm writing this as a way to remind myself: Michelle, there are more things ahead, more paths and more work. Enjoy this time to the fullest before real life comes in again.

We talk about how one day, we will look back on this time and shake our heads... did we really stay up all night cutting rings and gluing boxes only to miss the shipping date? did we really live in that tiny house with that tiny dog in that tiny yard?

How many things do you think that about now?

What a nice, universal human thought.

Oh, where was I going with this?

I just took a five minute interlude to think about how this applies to everyone, re: why it is only nice to hang out with your old friends for brief times. What I mean is this: when you are with someone from your past, you already have a concrete idea of who they are and what they like. When you see them, you first find out what's new in their lives and then you immediately get back to reminiscing and trying to convince yourself that not so much time has passed since you knew that person. The longer you are with them, the more differences you start the notice. New unsavory habits or newfound sainthood. This is always refreshing and wonderful at first, but then ultimately disturbing... where is the person you knew before? You can't get over it. The only way to get over it is to get into Plan: Prolonged Rekindling, where your old friend becomes your current friend, and you stop noticing changes and start noticing how they are the same. I don't mean the same in a "stale" or "rusty" way, I of course am talking about that familiar and comforting same way.

That was a rant that had no purpose or redeeming qualities to it and I will leave it up, even though I think I will read it back to myself in the morning and think about what an ass I am.

I don't know what I was trying to convey with that. Except for I love all of my friends because I know that we are simpatico, even if we don't know what's going on in each others lives 24/7 (although the internet certainly helps)

I know that I am afforded many luxuries because my mom died, and I don't mean in terms of an inheritance or her jewelry, but that I was given last year and this year for myself, instead of scrambling for a job or finishing a masters in a program i hated. I was granted the luxury of knowing my friends are family, and I don't mean that in a neglectful way, when I say that my friends are family, I mean that no matter how long it's been, when we all sit on that gigantic Kiang Family wrap around couch, no matter if you have been there before, we are all family together and warm together and covered in dogs together (the last part is very true. anyone who hasn't been to the house in a while would be appalled). I was granted the luxury of knowing that my family is like a ride or die chick... my analogies are getting weak.

So that's it. I didn't have any intentions of saying anything like this, but I suppose that was what was on my mind.

Back to bed I go, I hope sleep finds me soon.

Even though I really want to put my cold feet on Timmy when I get into bed, I won't.

2009-10-25T12:46:00.002-04:00

It's already the end of October, sometimes I don't understand where all the time goes.

I've been thinking about how I ended up here, and if I'm supposed to be doing all of this. Is there a life plan or is life just a series of coincidences whose outcome is determined solely by timing? What is multiverse Michelle doing, the one that chose the opposite as me?

I don't know. I've been having trouble with the Truth, capital T.

I guess everyone is troubled with the Truth sometimes.

Saturday Night Live

2009-10-11T00:35:00.000-04:00

October seems to be an important month in my life, what with the last two delivering me my mother's untimely death and my first date with Timothy, respectively. As it is also the beginning of fall and a reminder of our imminent delivery into winter, Octobers are a bit sad.

To try and head off the frownies, here's what's been making me smile:

My family who gets crazier every year and loves to fight about where we go on vacation.
My babe who is on his way to great things
My pup who is getting handsomer every day
Old friends and big hugs
A windy fall afternoon at the Modern Wing of the Art Institute
Makers Manhattans
Conan on at 11
Gorgeous fall colors in the neighborhood
Sunny afternoons in the backyard
Bill Hader
Long late afternoon family naps
Portsmouth, NH
Florida on Monday! 90 degree weather! AHHHHH

Tim told me I should blog

2009-09-23T16:11:00.003-04:00

And since I refuse to study for the LSAT any more today, here I am! YAY!

...

It's only been a year since I've been out of school and I've totes forgotten how to study. That and, I'm not sure I am 100% in the "I Care About This Test" mindset. Maybe I will become more focused tomorrow (probs not). Um also I just found out I have been constantly scoring in the 97th percentile, which is the worst piece of news I could have possibly gotten at this point in studying.

The computer is in the spare room that Timmy set up and I am blogging while Fred sits in his bed, chewing a toy and intently staring at himself in the bottom of the full length mirror. Fred is a narcissist. Earlier today he was licking the mirror where his nose was and then went behind it to investigate where that handsome pup really was.

Oh man I've turned into one of those crazy people that only talks about their dog aghhhghghghghg sorry. I'm a dog person now. Cats can suck an egg

Just kidding, 1 out of every 10 cats is still okay in my book. Maybe. TBD.

I've been making espressos in the morning, which has been a pretty nice replacement to that bad vietnamese coffee habit I picked up last year. Anyways. I just put some cream in it and then a dusting of cinnamon, rendering this coffee drink not an actual coffee drink. I also haven't grasped the concept of cinnamon "dusting." I like to go with a dainty cinnamon HEAPING on the top of the coffee. Sigh. I'm trying here guys, I swear.

Latest crazy dog lady thing I just did: uploaded two videos of Fred whining and barking at himself in the mirror. Yes, I know I have a problem. That being admitted, why don't you be my enabler and watch them here? He looks big in the videos and thats cuz he is. Mr Fat Ass here is up to 5 pounds, 14 ounces. DISGUSTING. Immediate diet. BUT SERIOUSLY FRED IS SUPER CUTE SO WATCH THESE VIDEOS.

WE'RE GONNA BECOME INTERNET FAMOUS YALL.

Maybe.

Hey remember in the Daily Illini, there was a comic called Ninja Please? And another one about some guy named Matt and a bunch of line drawings? Those were pretty good. I miss those. I would post some examples, but I really can't find them. :(

Happy Birthday to my Timmy

2009-09-08T17:56:00.003-04:00

It's strange to think that one year ago, we didn't even know each other. And now, 11 months later, I'm waiting for you with our dog to get back to our home in New Hampshire so we can go out and celebrate.

Love you so much. You deserve all the best in the world

xoxo, kees kees

Life in the ATL(antic Heights)

2009-09-03T22:42:00.004-04:00

I can't believe an entire blog entry about jorts was what I left up for three weeks while real life happened. SORRY.

I assume everyone who read that is now currently wearing jorts. Right guys? Uhh... right?

Just kidding, it's already fall. Sorry to break it to all of you. It was 48 degrees here a few mornings ago. Ten trillion thumbs down.

OH MY GOD I MOVED TO PORTSMOUTH AND FORGOT TO BLOG ABOUT IT. But yes. We're here! We did it!

An insane amount of whatnot has been going on here. INSANE. WHAT. NOT.

Apparently I am really enjoying the caps lock tonight.

We moved in less than two weeks ago, uhhhhhhhhh whatttttt it feels like so long ago that we were still in Boston.

Less than two weeks and now I am sitting in the living room typing this entry while Tim and Fred are sitting on the couch watching tv :)

If maybe you don't know me or maybe you aren't paying attention or maybe you have cooler things to do than creep on my flickr, Tim and I got a little long haired chihuahua pup!

His name is Fred and he is a 5 pound kissin machine. Seriously. This dog loves to lick your face. It would be kind of gross except for he doesn't slobber.

He is adorably pathetic and he loves the couch. Couch fiend. It's insane. He's sleeping all day just burrowed up in these blankets

This picture was not staged. Fredster will play for an hour maybe and then will pounce onto the blankets and use his nose to flip the blankets to burrow into them aaaaaaaaaaaah its so cute I could die.

He is also really pretty pathetic, which makes him very cute. Tim is trying to toughen him up and make him a man but with me its snuggs and hugs all day. AALLLLL DAY. Snuggs, hugs, naps, and yard time.

My family also came up to visit and we ate lots of delicious food and delicious lobsters. Joey is a crazy man. CRAZY. Also, I went candlepin bowling for the first time. Why do New Englanders insist on everything just being sliiiiiightly different?

There is still an absurd amount of stuff to be done around the house and a lot of stuff that I'm still getting used to... like emptying the dehumidifier in the basement... but it's really nice. I really love it up here with my little family in my little house in my little piece of New Hampshire. Even if our dog is afraid to go outside.

Jorts All Day

2009-08-17T23:20:00.000-04:00

I just tweeted about this, but I would like to take a short blog moment to say: I would really and truly love a song about Jorts. Jorts. Jorts all day.

First of all, what are Jorts?

Urban Dictionary defines jorts as "Jean shorts. Worn mostly by children and douchebags. Jorts are perhaps the easiest way to recognize people you will not like."

I would define jorts as the single greatest piece of summer denim wear in existence.

My struggles with jorts goes back to my beginnings (much like Charlie and cats) but now, all of my repressed feelings about jorts are coming back.

Namely, I LOVE THEM but i was just ashamed of it before. I have three (3!!!!!!) pairs of jorts. A black pair, a medium colored pair, and a dark pair that I just cut up today.

This is Jorts "Patient Zero," eg: the pair that started it all. They were a pair of Lucky Brand Dream Jeans, from 2003 (maybe 2002?). These jorts were with me through the good times and the bad times; the fat times and the skinny times; the American times and the European times (I wore them for almost 4 weeks straight while backpacking); the cold times and the hot times (remember how I said I didn't use to wear jorts? I was a jeans in summer kinda gal). In fact, these could possibly be the jeans that the best selling bookseries and popular movie "Sisterhood of the Traveling Pants" was based on.

Like so many things that you love to death, I eventually forgot about these jeans, forgoing them for darker washes and different cuts. UNTIL THIS SUMMER. AND NOW THEY'RE BACK. With a vengeance? But seriously. Love these jorts. The jorts have a lot of history in them. All that distressing you see is actually natural.

If I get a pair of light jorts and WHITE jorts, I will have completed the jorts pentfecta. Yes, I just made up the word pentfecta.

BUT : white shorts are always, always, ALWAYS an indicator of a trashy girl. The shorter, the trashier. That being said, I have no problem with trash.

I love my jorts and I wear them with pride. Live free or die! No greater expression of American Freedom than DIY jorts (...right?)

I was talking with Tim on the phone today about how I can't pack all my clothes yet since we aren't making the move until Saturday and he reminded me all I needed was a pair of jorts and a few tank tops / t shirts. Occam's Razor. Forget about dresses and skirts and what not. All you need are the basics: jorts and tops. One pair of jorts + 5 tops = Michelle is set until Saturday. Tim is the smartest.

Anyways. Jorts. Try them! You'll like them!

PS: I am not vouching for cargo jorts. Cargo jorts are the third trimester abortion of the jorts debate. I'm no radical!

Two more days!

2009-08-12T16:12:00.004-04:00

Today is a head:desk today. Repeated head:desk.

Many of my projects have recently ended / are ending soon ...

I finished Infinite Jest some time last week. Like most things that don't follow a chronological timeline, the ending was borderline infuriating, like how I imagine LOST's last season will be. That being said, it was still an amazing book, that I would like to revisit some time soon.

I ALSO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Finished Keyboard Cat

I made his nose pink and his eyes closed, per Tim request. KBC will be ready to make the big move.

Yes indeedy, I have started packing, for the end of my Massachusetts Residence AND Vista is at hand.

For Realzies!

Monday = Blogday

2009-08-10T16:03:00.000-04:00

It might hit 90 degrees today in ol' crappy Boston-town! Hooray?

My day started bright and early at 6:15, which meant I was a zombie. Whenever I get up early, my brain is all confused. I never know what I should wear, I have to check the weather 2 or 3 times, and I wander in and out of the bathroom forgetting whatever it was that made me go in there in the first place.

One thing that I DID remember was to start downloading episode 208 of True Blood. We all have to have priorities.

I'm totally into Sheriff Eric in the show, but I'm totally not into what he's selling in real life. I shouldn't have Google Image Searched him :(

TEN THUMBS DOWN! Don't worry, once he's got that track suit and slicked back hair goin on I'll be into it again.

BTW: When I googled "Eric True Blood," a Dr. Eric Trueblood in Bloomington, IN showed up. Best name ever in the worst state ever!

At 7am, I went to a dreamworld of magic: my dentist's office. Hooray.

Oh yes, I broke my temporary crown on Saturday at a birthday party while eating pita chips. I then broke another tooth by chewing on said broken crown.

My dentist fixed me up and sent me on my way, sans 500 dollars. If you're keeping track out there, that brings the total up to 3500, which is the going rate for about 4 months of full time VISTA work. Believe it.

When I was just about to leave, the dentist told me it was a shame that I was moving, because I'm such a great patient. Of course, he meant to say, because your teeth are awful and I got bills to pay.

Now I got a new tooth, molded out of nothing but a song and a prayer and tooth colored composite and 500 dollars, much like yours truly.

HEY! FOUR MORE DAYS!

Snaggley

2009-08-03T14:15:00.005-04:00

Tim and I picked up the keys and signed the lease to our new house in Portsmouth on Saturday! Our land lady is nice. Too nice. Midwest nice! She told us we could park at her house if we wanted to go to the beach and if the house was open, we could use the bathroom too. Janet, you're the best already.

That's what our backyard looks like! Lots of shade from old maple trees, none of which reside in our yard.

We then went up to Maine to get some of Flo's special hot dogs, and a trip to Yummies, which is a giant candy store. Obvi bought some gummi bears and peanut brittle.

Flo's hot dogs are good, even though the ingredients are a bit strange. Also, I had a Moxie soda (as seen behind the hot dog in the picture). No clue what's in that. Tim said it tasted like the dentist. Having been to a dentist this morning, I will disagree. Flo's sauce is some sort of secret onion/molasses deal. Which is delicious. Very snappy hot dogs. I would most def go back.

Then on Sunday, I broke my tooth! As you may or may not know, I have two crowns on my front teeth, because one of them up and died on me about five years ago. The left crown decided to bail on me yesterday, probably due to several factors: my teeth grinding, my nail biting, and my consumption of peanut brittle. The last straw was when I didnt use it to eat some delicious nuggs. It dropped off my real tooth in protest.

I spared you the close up picture of that. It was too snaggley for blog use.

So I went to a dentist this morning and was told several horrifying things: 1) I have to wear a mouth guard, 2) that mouth guard is 800 dollars, 3) the new tooth is 2000 dollars, 4) I probably have a cavity. In GOOD news, instead of taking 3 months for my crown, they are taking some sort of digital scan of my tooth and making the crown in house, so it will be a 4 hour appointment and I will be done! The dentist there is super nice and very knowledgeable, so that 3000 dollar bill is made somewhat better. Just kidding, no it's not.

I was so distraught because of my snaggle status that I couldn't concentrate on the task at hand - which was LSAT studying. Instead, I focused on keyboard catting.

Look! Rorschach keyboard cat!

To All Maine Points

2009-07-20T11:48:00.002-04:00

We went to Maine this weekend! I did not see any moose or seadogs. I demand my money back. (?) We did go to Ogunquit Lobster Pound, as recommended by our local food reviewing tv show - the Phantom Gourmet. If you don't know anything about the Phantom, the main gist is they want to make you real fat, so I usually trust their choices. You tell the man how much lobster you want to stuff your face with, and then they pick some out of a holding tank, weigh them, and in mere seconds, throw them to their watery deaths into a giant vat of boiling seawater.

This is the only known picture in existence of our lobsters, pre-vat of boiling water.

We also ordered steamers (clams). They are weird looking. But really good! Oh and yes, you peel the clam away from the weird brown outside membrane, which Tim called the foreskin. Groooosssss. I'm not usually the biggest fan of lobster, but I think it was a combination of being in Maine, eating outside, and summertime that made this lobster super delicious. Also, lots of butter does not hurt.

This is where Tim surfs. I would take up surfing just to see this on the reg. We're moving to New Hampshire!

Apparently it's called a "Web log"

2009-07-17T15:56:00.001-04:00

I saw this "gem" when I stopped at Citibank to get some cash.

Tim and I were in New Hampshire yesterday looking at an "apartment." By "apartment" I really mean half of a brick house in a neighborhood called Atlantic Heights, WHICH I found out today was one of the nation's first housing projects. For realsies. That seems very fitting. No pictures yet but I'm very fond of it. And, if we live there, we will be able to see Maine from our window, making us the Palins of NH. Developmentally disabled child notwithstanding.

Then we went to a flatbread pizza place, which is um maybe too "earthy" and "organic" but nonetheless delicious. Our clean cut, vanilla looking waiter had two tattoos running down the back of his arms. Left: Don't Tread on Me (complete with cut up snake) and Right: Live Free or Die. Oh New Hampshire.

I'm drinking this diet Orange Crush and wondering why I think neon orange colored things are presumably okay to ingest. I just can't help it, I love orange soda.

When I was little, I would often have snacks of orange juice and cheetos, not only because OJ was usually the only juice we had in the house and Cheetos were my mom's favorite junk food, but because I really liked the idea of only eating things that were one color.

By the way, I can still drink orange juice disturbingly quickly, as a remnant of my OJ filled past.

I bought a bunch of birthday cards from fomato, and this card perfectly encapsulates what I want someone to do for my birthday. I obvi am going to send this to my sister. In 4 months. When it is finally her birthday. I couldn't help buying it! I loved it too much!!! I really like fomato items. I think possibly because they mostly relate to eating. If I ever open the über-shoppe (you have to pronounce it shop-E) of my dreams, fomato will be included.

I'm nervous about the future and moving. I realized this after I noticed I had already bitten three of my nails on my left hand. Now they are hurty. BOO URNS.

Less than a month of AmeriCorps left! If you want to be precise, which I want you to, it's only TWENTY more working days. EEEEEEEEEEEEEE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

July never seemed so strange

2009-07-08T12:01:00.001-04:00

Clouds... still here. We had four glorious days of sunshine (okay, maybe more like 3 and half) but yesterday was more familiar - downpouring at 60 degrees. It's hard to think about other things when the weather is like this. Every conversation you have with anyone will at one point reference this terrible weather. Seriously. Come on Boston, I know you have it in you!

Speaking of Boston, I am maybe 15% through Infinite Jest, and it's really good, even though I still miss a lot of Boston location references. It's hard when people ask me what its about though, since I still borderline have no idea. I mean. Wheelchair assassins, hundreds of characters, a psuedo future, "The Entertainment," tennis, addiction, sponsored year names ("Year of the Whopper"), giant feral infants, 11 page footnotes... how am I supposed to explain all of that? Regardless. It's good. It draws you in. Also DFW grew up in Champaign, so I feel a faux connection to him (just like Dave Eggers and Dan Savage, who both went to U of I). Sometimes I pick it up, start reading, and have to put it down because I know my brain won't be able to process it that day. Also sometimes my puny muscles can't handle it since the book itself is ginormous.

Speaking of my puny muscles, I went rock climbing for the first time ever yesterday! It was amazing. Although I scraped my elbow and my muscles are a little sore today, I made it to the top of the 27 foot wall! Yay! Also learned to tie some nice knots. If i was a girl scout I would definitely want to get a merit badge in knot tying. I think it's cool. (Shut up)

Speaking of lame things I think are cool, I started working on a Keyboard Cat cross stitch... ehehehehehehe. If you haven't seen keyboard cat, I would recommend you watch it here

It is going to be a key piece of decor for our new apartment. Location (of keyboard cat AND apartment) to be determined. In New Hampshire. Yes, I'm moving to New Hampshire!!!!!!!!!

Clouds! Rocks! Ocean! New England! Yay!

Tim and I were talking the other day and wondering: where the FUCK is Old Zealand?

Oh and remember to be impressed today when the clock reads: 12:34.56 7/8/09

BE IMPRESSED, I SAID!!!!!!!!!!!!!

June Gloom

2009-06-26T13:15:00.000-04:00

I felt really good all yesterday and then when I came home, I fell asleep reading Infinite Jest and when I woke up, I felt awful again. Damn you fake swine flu. It's the kind of sickness that never allows you to fully catch your breath and just makes me audibly sigh all day long. Maybe I would have been doing that anyways.

I think this extended spell of cloudy days has ushered me into seasonal affective disorder. Paired with unexpected deaths, the DPC, and other goings on has made me very ruminative. Um, sorry.

Last Sunday was what was supposed to be my mother's 61st birthday. Well, I guess it still was. I think when you first start dealing with death, you convince yourself that you're going to get over it. You know, like thats a natural part of healing. That's why the first year someone is gone is such a big deal. Its for you to start "Getting Over It" and "Heal." I think maybe thats why the second year has been so hard for me, because I started realizing that I would never Get Over It, really. Not saying I don't think I'll heal, but you know what I mean. I don't know, maybe it's a realization that there's just going to be a space in the rest of my life with every accomplishment, every happy moment, every holiday, every anything. That's okay though. Maybe that's nice. Maybe that's the last real way she can be there in my life.

OOOOOOOOOOOOOO that got heavy. I've been too contemplative recently. Why can't the sun come out and stay out and change my brain chemicals?

I think today we should all hug someone we love for a long time. Yay.

Sorrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrry

2009-06-22T10:23:00.005-04:00

Sorry I haven't written lately except to put up embarrassing pictures of J and G, but I've been all sorts of out of sorts. SO I'LL MAKE THIS ONE REAL GOOD, I PROMISE.

...

IS IT GOOD YET? (you don't have to lie to me)

Saturday! My savior! If this forecast changes in the next five days, I am going to burn this city down. It has been 60 degrees and rain-misting every day for the past 3 weeks, with the exception of MAYBE two days. One of those days I went with S to Winthrop Beach and while we got a tan (kinda), we had to hide under the gusts of wind. I obviously immediately got sick. TEN THUMBS DOWN! But we also got gigantic ice cream cones, so I'm going to upgrade my rating to FIVE THUMBS DOWN!

Lots of stuff has happened these past few weeks. I got excited about the new iPhones. MPS escaped the Trib Company and came out here for a visit and a Sox game. I watched He's Just Not That Into You at the Red Cross and then found 20 dollars on the sidewalk. (prob from a drug deal gone awry). S and I went on the Master Cleanse, and then I fell down a flight of stairs. I ranted and raved about my shitty Nikon camera to anyone that would listen / read my tweets (I blame Ashton Kutcher). I saw the Dirty Projectors with Gordo and was confused at the mix of people present in the Somerville Theater. I got a new iPhone. I made friends with Gov Deval Patrick

Y lo que ahora?

The online book club for reading Infinite Jest (called Infinite Summer) started yesterday, and I'm excited to get going with that. I've had IJ on my bookshelf / under a table in the family room for awhile but just couldn't get very far in the book. This is an undertaking that will involve multiple bookmarks, notations, deadlines, and usage of a notebook. (Wait, this kind of sounds like school...)

Maybe I'll get serious on you for a few minutes.

Um no, just kidding. Maybe later.

Tim and I went to a pet store in the Saugus Mall yesterday. There was an adorable black pug and a papillion. Good thing we didn't have an extra thousand dollars in our pockets.

38 more working days as a VISTA. Seriously guys, it's almost over.

Real Quick...

2009-06-16T00:46:00.002-04:00

...before I go to bed.

These are the first two pictures on my iphoto

Hahahaha

2009-06-01T17:15:00.001-04:00

It was a really nice weekend, the kind that makes you want to faceplant on your desk Monday morning.

Tim and I did some gardening... wait, I meant "gardening"

I went with the Urban Gardener brand of herbs and T contributed a smiley mahogany man with india ink hair. We have basil, thyme, sage, rosemary, and cilantro.

He also decided to create an ad for MiracleGro Moisture control potting soil with his hibiscus. And part of a surfboard.

Of course, after we had planted our new garden... "garden," I poked at all the herbs every chance I got, we obsessed over them, and said things like, "I think they're really settling in!" T reminded me we would lose interest in a few days. That's probably true.

We went to IKEA and Home Depot (not once, but TWICE! for gardening supplies) this weekend, which makes it official, we are living some sort of yuppie dream.

Our weekend with the LegoLegend

2009-05-29T11:03:00.000-04:00

Spoiler alert: the zoo is just as you remember it, except not as cool.

Being home was really nice, but I would also venture to call it exhausting. It just felt pretty non stop, even with intermittent napping.

We went to Hot Dougs! Totally worth the wait. Although Tim and I were talking about it yesterday and I don't think there was one normal hot dog in that whole bunch. Hmm..

We also drank lots of Mexican Coke, had a Nachorama, went on an architectural boat tour (please pronounce this as TUR), played with lots of Legos, saw Night at the Museum 2, loved on all the animals, had dim sum in Chinatown, and obvi ate a lot of delicious foods. Joey was crazier than ever and had several new dances to show off. He also told us his nickname is Joey Lego Legend and that "you guys are always tagonizing me!!!" Tim almost got sexually assaulted by him on the last day and endured several beatings from Joey when he had Wolverine Claws on. As a reference, imagine this child as Joey but with two claws on and running at you full speed while yelling and brandishing said claws. Oh they also make slashing noises!

Terrifying and hilarious to watch.

I think we were both certainly very glad to go home to a quiet apartment with no dogs or kids. I would post more pictures but all the pictures I took were of that polar bear and hot dogs. I am so lame.

No Boaning...

2009-05-27T12:41:00.002-04:00

Don't even think about it.

Rant of the day

2009-05-21T10:45:00.003-04:00

Okay Asian people. I understand that we are a relatively hairless people. I get it. I'm one of you. Now, I am going to ask you WHY THE FUCK YOU ARE LETTING YOUR HAIRY MOLES RUIN MY DAY!? There is no way you are looking in the mirror at the fucking gigantic mole on your face with the tufts of hair coming out of it and thinking to yourself, yes. I am looking good. Seriously. This guy had at least 3 inches of hair coming out of his face mole. Also to put on my list of grievances, women with long, nasty hair on their toes. I mean, really you guys? I know body hair removal is confusing, but there is no way that is okay.

WAY

Sorry I'm getting all "ignorant white person" on you, but I can't handle this anymore. CAN NOT. Wait, no, I'm not fucking sorry. How is it all the hair you were supposed to have on your arms and legs just fucking went to your moles and toes? This doesn't make sense to me anymore. I hate all of you. I want to throw up.

SIXTY DAYS. DEEP BREATHS, MICHELLE.

End rant.

Walking around in my summertime clothes

2009-05-20T15:35:00.000-04:00

One thing I love about the beginning of summer is the annual cheesy "OMG It's Finally Summer" playlist. All songs about parties and bullshit, and picking up girls, and being in love, and all of the good stuff that comes around only when the weather outside is accommodating.

I like checking isiticedcoffeeweather.com, it is very reaffirming. Is it iced coffee weather in Boston 02111 today? YES. Duly noted. I have bought an iced Vietnamese coffee. So good.

Here is a picture of the tiny necklace I bought at the Designboom mart. I've always been really fascinated by sealife. Besides whales, dolphins, sharks, and whatever bullshit other large creatures exist down there, I think smaller sealife is really interesting. So I saw this at the Odette NY booth, and was really fond of it. It's a bit girlier than things I am normally attracted to - kissing seahorses is very relatable to lame crafts and etsy in my mind - and I like how the design isn't too refined. ALSO, seahorses mate for life and the males carry the babies. What I'm trying to tell you is that the seahorse female is living the dream. MY dream.

I leave for IL, or as Tim calls it, "Illy," at 6AM on Friday. Yay! My sister and Kory seem to be getting increasing agitated. She's already made a complete meal plan and Kory has been texting me inane things all day. Actual texts:

"Does tim like sushi...we could do sushirama on sat nite"
"What else should I get for him does he eat or drink anything special"
"What does tim drink? Pop? Beer? Sparkling water? Prune juice?"
"What are we doing on Friday? Zoo? Thrifting? Garage sales? Will he drink coors light? If I don't have the closet doors up will u be embarrassed... oh shit. Is Tim afraid of closets??"
"Zoo sounds fun. I'll see if I can get the day off from work"

The last one is especially weird because I'm like 98% sure that Kory is still a stay at home Dad. Haha. Oh the family. My father is currently obsessed with me getting a fixed gear bike to ride around. You know, because he told me it's the cool new thing that all the young people are riding in Brooklyn. I'm down for riding a bike but I am not down with a fixie. Did you know you CANT STOP PEDALLING!? What the fuck. I need my coasting time.

2009-05-18T17:19:00.005-04:00

Ahhhhhhhhhh I'm here! I'm here!!!

I just got back from New York after helping Tim with ICFF crayon business. We laughed (people watching was great), we cried (standing all day in a 10 sq foot area was sad), we high fived (sometimes a high five just feels right), we stopped high fiving (we were doing it too much), we drank coffee (very early mornings and very long days), we contributed to the cash-hole (we liked to throw money in the pit), we entertained stupid questions (seriously, strange questions), we smiled until our faces hurt (it was like sorority rush), we slowly went crazy (you would too), we both saw someone named TOBIAS FUNK and freaked out (no seriously, his name was Tobias Funk), we ate steaks with fried eggs on top (Brazil, you are good to me), and we had a good time (I am definitely going to move to New York).

Anyways. It was obvi my first time at such an event and I saw a lot of really cool things that I loved and wanted. Like a 6000 dollar bathtub, a 1700 dollar chair, a low canopy bed with dip dyed curtains, and a giant IKEA bowl that looks like the hat Madeline wears.

I also bought some really nice bowls (you know how I love bowls) from another mart participant - studiomake.

So nice. The bowls have unique drips from when they took the porcelain out. I also bought some jewelry, because that's just what I do.

There were a few cute kids who were at the booth, including this one Asian girl who wanted both a brown and gray crayon ring. Unfortunately, the gray one was only the size model and we couldn't give it to her, although I don't think it stopped her from wanting it. Hmm I should have creepily taken a picture of her.

Our hotel was in Brooklyn (nu hotel... missing umlaut!!!) and had a chalkboard wall in the bathroom. I requested a cat and a doughnut with sprinkles and so Tim drew two love vignettes. I'm a little smudgey in the picture and Tim reminds me of Conan OBrien. Still, I'm pretty fond of this picture.

If you think I took any more pictures this weekend, you would be mistaken, because, once again, I suck.

I always feel really impressed with Asian guys with good moustaches. Is that just me? Like, I feel really proud of them, like good for you, the other Asian guys who can't grow facial hair must be totally jealous. Right?

Every time I talk to NKQ, we talk about how many days are left in our year. Not including weekends, there are only 62 days. Oh thank goodness.

EDIT: just found a pic of that sweet hat/bowl

2009-05-14T10:31:00.003-04:00

I've been extra groggy these past few mornings, and if you have ever experienced Michelle in the Mornings, you know I am not the most coherent of people. My allergies have been "poppin off" as the kids would say (would they?) and yesterday my left eye was swollen for about three hours. I believe Tim has hexed me with his allergies.

Anyways. What happens after I drag myself into work is that I'll drink some coffee. And then immediately feel like I'm going to throw up. While still yawning.

I know. Life is hard.

NLB came in last weekend, and it was, in two words, a Big Game.

I would put up some pictures, but I obviously didn't take any. Because I suck. BUT! You could imagine how great they would have been, yeah?

It's all cloudy and about to rain outside. I wish I was in bed.

Oh well, this was just an awful blog post. Sorry. I'll make it up to you next time.

I'm hungry

2009-05-05T13:17:00.001-04:00

I have some random things in my pictures folder.

Forecast

2009-05-05T12:56:00.003-04:00

Aw, come on!

MAY!

2009-05-01T16:30:00.000-04:00

I'm pretty excitable today, even though I woke up very very tired and grumpy. Sorry for being grumpy in the morning, Tim. (I was going to put a LOLcat picture here but I decided not to be totally fucking lame and save my last shred of dignity / coolness)((internet dignity / coolness))

Anyways, WHY AM I SO EXCITED????

May has always been the beginning of summer. I'm getting super excited for No Pants Summer 2009! I'm also excited to be constantly sweating underneath my bangs. But no pants joy should even out the hot bang sadness. Did I just seriously write the phrase "hot bang sadness"?
I'm volunteering with NKQ at HK tomorrow! Horses! Cats! No Asians! Ahhh!!! (Wait, are there Asians here?) But seriously. Her non-profit is all about theraputic horseback riding, so I'm going to do some direct service for a change, instead of this capacity building bullshit. Also, there are cats I'm going to play with. YES. Fuck, I just lost that last shred of dignity / coolness. Whatevs, you all knew the truth.
NLB comes to visit next weekend!!!!! 305 is finally going to be reunited in Boston and I couldn't be more excited!
Tim is doing the Designboom Mart at ICFF (International Contemporary Furniture Fair... yeah I googled that shit) and I'm tagging along to help him sell some rings. And to enact my newest money making scheme: charming the pants off of people and then stealing their wallets. This plan is foolproof.
Joey turns 5 (!) which means he's one year closer to fulfilling his dream of becoming a Chicago Bear who is also a rock star (because he rocks out) and the fastest man alive that lives in a big house with his auntie, Kory, his mommy, Kirby, Emma, and Lucy and we all play MarioKart all day and have parties all the time and rock out and have a boat. I am definitely counting on all of his dreams coming true. He also told me that in this house, we would eat ice cream and pizza whenever we wanted. Awesome.
I'm going hooooooooome Memorial Day weekend! And then my sister and I are going to Hot Dougs! And we're going to get Hot Doug-ed in the FACE! (???) And get duck fat fries! And then Tim is going to come! And my family is going to scare him! I hope not. Anyways. Excited to get home, eat some delicious food, love on some wonderful animals, squish Joey, and see the fam.
On May 24th, I will only have 100 days left in the CORPS, which is at once thrilling and terrifying, because that means I probably need to start thinking about my next steps.
Last, and certainly not least, the wonderful month of May is not only Asian Pacific American Heritage month here in the Bay State, it is also National Hamburger Month! I will give you one guess as to which one excites me more. ONE GUESS.

HOORAYYYYYYYYYYYYYY

2009-04-28T12:33:00.004-04:00

After all of my whining and bitching and crying about the cold weather, fake summer / real spring is finally here! YES. We did it, everyone. Congrats. High of 92 degrees here today.. KABOOOOOOOOOOOM sun explosion!!!!!!!!! Don't worry, back to 60 degrees tomorrow.

In the one week where the weather has been awesome, I have already gotten sunburnt. YESSSSSS. My lifelong dream of getting skin cancer is one step closer to becoming realized. I know, that's not funny. Anyways, I read Mysteries of Pittsburgh by Michael Chabon outside on Saturday and I now have some major swimsuit tan lines. Following up on that book name drop, Mysteries is spectacular, and I really enjoyed it.

I had been meaning to read this one for awhile, since I've read a decent amount of his other novels, and when I saw this adorable cover at the Harvard Book Store, I had to pick one up. Anyways, this new cover is for Harper Perennial's Olive Edition and the other two, which I also liked, I also already owned. And seriously, who needs two copies of Unbearable Lightness of Being and Everything is Illuminated? Also, how did they end up picking these three books? I just started Jhumpa Lahiri's Interpreter of Maladies last night and it is pretttttttttyyyyyy good. Sorry I just talked about books for way too long without saying anything of substance.

Nicoolio and I spent last Sunday wandering throughout the city. Some things we did: Crossed through the Greek Parade on Boylston, took the commuter rail from Back Bay to South Station, had a helpful bus driver in Dior shades, had a beer at the Legal Test Kitchen, went to the Harpoon Brewery, schmoozed the brewery workers (okay, I didn't do this so much), got kind of drunk, wandered into the Puma party next to the ICA, saw Usain Bolt, went to the Barking Crab, then took the T up to Harvard, where we ate dinner at the Border Cafe. It was awesome. My calves still hurt from walking. All of this from a day where we were supposed to go sailing. Good trade off.

I had a weird dream a few nights ago which ended in me eating gummi worms. I am eating gummi worms now, and they are just as good as I dreamt they were. I am going to revive my summertime ritual of eating a Vietnamese sandwich in the Public Garden today. YES.

Wonder no more!

2009-04-23T13:55:00.002-04:00

This is in fact, what I would look like with a creeper's lens.

I love MWP's unbelievable Microsoft Paint skills. Skillz?

2009-04-22T17:26:00.001-04:00

So a little more than one week left in April, wait how did that happen again? Oh fuck, it's Wednesday and not Thursday. It is simultaneously later than and earlier than I had thought.

The news keeps telling me that its going to be 80 degrees this weekend and I keep getting more excited. Tim says not to get my hopes up until it happens, but I think that’s his defense mechanism for being his own sweatshop crayon ring labor and being trapped inside.

Okay, I think he’s actually making a box in that picture, but you get the idea.

EXCITING NEWS! G is moving back to Boston this weekend from SD. Wait, he just told me he’s going to make me watch all the seasons of The Wire. Fuck. I take it back. This news is no longer exciting, it is terrifying.

I was creeping outside our living room window a few days ago to figure out the weather, and I noticed something weird across the street. On the 3rd floor of the building across from us, some one had written (in masking tape): I AM SORRY and then further down the pane: I LOVE YOU. It was still there this morning. I wonder what that's all about. I tried to take a picture, but was too far away and do not own a gigantic creeper's lens

I googled giant creep lens and this picture came up. Imagine how cool I would look with that.

No one is left in the office, mayhaps I shall wander home now?

First Day of Sandals

2009-04-17T10:07:00.003-04:00

This made me laugh this morning, because sometimes I feel the same way. Also, Taiwan Cafe is spectacular.

So yes, I finally got my hair cut AND I got bangs. I have already been told I look like I'm 15. Which makes me paranoid. Good job new haircut, you have made me insecure. I don't have any pictures because I am extremely adverse to self portraiture, it tends not to go so well for me.

The worst thing about cutting bangs is that you spend the next week indiscriminately snipping pieces of hair and oh, now you've done it, your fringe is all weird looking. Also, sometimes I catch a glimpse of my reflection in a window or mirror, and I won't recognize myself. Also, people think you're 15.

Ahhhhhhh it's nice outside today! I'm wearing sandals! It's going to be 70! I'm going to leave work early and frolic outside. Just kidding, when is the last time you saw me frolicking anywhere? But I AM going to leave work early. Why? Because fuck him, that's why. (did you catch that?) Ahhhh and it's a long weekend! Even more reason to check out of here early. Although, if I go to Newbury, it's going to be lousy with people I want to punch. Hmmmmm worth it.

2009-04-15T15:45:00.004-04:00

Seems like only a few days of decent, 50 degree weather made everyone in Boston think that it was safe to go outside scantily clad. (Today: 48 but feels like 41) I saw a lot of streetwalkers / homeless / streetwalking homeless today in their crazy outfits.

THIS OUTFIT IS REAL! and totally amazing. (yes, there is a jean "skirt" over the actual jeans)

I am getting a haircut in 40 minutes for the first time since February 2008 and have no idea what I want... oh boy.

2009-04-14T12:05:00.002-04:00

I made a gigantic sandwich to take to work this morning. I have been on a sandwich kick. You know how sometimes you get obsessed with a type of food and you just constantly crave it? Thats me and sandwiches. I blame Spain.

I ate blackberries all morning and it was spectacular. Except you can't really bite down on them because of the seeds, so it involves squishing only. Or... is that just me?

You know how when you search for something on ebay, it gives you the "best match" first? How are they determining the best matches? Is this an extra feature you have to pay for when you are selling? The best matches are always the worst. Continuing with this ebay topic, it's the WORST when you have a positive Paypal balance because then you think you're not really spending money at all, since it wasn't in your bank account to start with. No, just me again?

I painted my nails today and am currently breaking in a pair of Delmans. My excuse for buying them was that I had no all navy shoes and so I should buy some to make wearing navy less prohibitive. My family used to joke that I had refrigerator feet - little rectangles that refused to be stuffed into children's shoes and sometimes, I think that's still true.

This is my first spring in a completely urban setting and I've been missing the tree blossoms, crocuses, tulips, hyacinths, lilacs, and all of those other signs that are so common. Every spring when I was younger, I would huff on the lilacs and hyacinths to breathe in as much of the scent as possible. I wish I could do that right now.

I have a secret. I am still not unpacked. I know. I suck.

Rainy Saturday

2009-04-11T17:39:00.004-04:00

Oh my, it's already 5:40 PM. FIVE : FORTY PM and I haven't done anything yet!! Oh, besides go to Whole Foods and pick up some of these:

YES. Awesome. Okay actually I like roasted beets better than pickled beets, but they are still pretty good.

So vacation was good, but it's really good to be home now. We came, we saw, we ate 5 meals a day, and now I have an extra 5 jamon pounds on me. Worth it.

That's a bunch of cold meats we had in London, including some bologna like substance that I was totally into. Mmmmmm nameless pork meats. I mean NO! NO CURED PORK, MICHELLE, RESIST!

Ooooh Tim and I stopped by JP Licks on the way home last night and I got a Chocolate Chip Cookie / Peanut Butter swirled soft serve. It was amazing.

You guys, I should seriously weigh 300 pounds and I am very thankful that I do not.

NB just told me that our friends got engaged last night! Holy F, I had homeroom with him in 7th grade! Ahhhhh, this is the first couple in our "group" that has gotten engaged. I hear from here on out its just one after another... !! We're getting ooooooold.

I saw the cutest brown Boston Terrier on the T yesterday, I almost died. I didnt know that Boston Terriers could be brown. Maybe it was a reject from shows :( In Spain, I kept on seeing the cutest French Bulldogs

and then whining about how I wanted one... sigh. One day!!!!

I'm wearing Tim's scarf that I have absconded with and it is prettyyyy warm. Thanks Tim!

2009-04-05T17:52:00.003-04:00

Things I am going to do when I get home:

Sleep for an entire day
Hug Tim for as long as he can stand it
Go on a pork-free vegetable-only diet for as long as I can stand it
Eat some nachos
Not walk ANYWHERE
Wash / dryclean all of my clothes TWICE to get out the stench of my father's pipe smoke

Kind of sad I missed the Chalayan exhibit at the London Design museum, but having the sandals of my dreams makes up for it a little bit. Last full day in Barcelona tomorrow; the plan is to get Gaudi-ed in the face. And then I'm going to go shopping. Will I come home with drop crotch pants? Only time will tell.

Restless Monday

2009-03-23T14:04:00.001-04:00

I hate when you're talking to someone and they make some comment you gloss over and then hours later you're like WAIT A SECOND... was what they said TOTALLY bitchy and passive-aggressive????

I am so ready to get out of here. Here meaning this job as well as this place. So. Ready. Hurry up already, I'm done with all of this. I want to move on. 162 days. I'm also currently pissed off it's only 19 degrees here (okay fine, 30, but feels like 19)

The last This American Life I was half listening to (it wasn't that good) was about people's plan B's. The gist of this episode was how life never turns out the way you planned it. At my count, I think I might be on Plan D or E at this point, so I figure I'm getting closer to where I'm supposed to be. I might not exactly know what I want to do, but I do know what I don't want to do, and I suppose that's better than not knowing anything. Right? RIGHT?!

I'm restless today. More so than usual. One week until Europe... ! Aaaaaaaaaaand I booked a ticket to go back to IL Memorial Day weekend! This is currently the longest I have been away from Illinois.

Things I have been thinking about a lot: hot summer days on the deck in Schaumburg, sunshine so bright it causes you to lose vision when you go inside, the scent of tomato plants, days when it is warm even when it's windy, sundresses, sandals, oh dear god how isn't it spring yet

Tim, you know "T", my wonderful boyfriend, made some crayon rings that have been generating a lot of "buzz" in the "blogosphere," you know, just making the "blog rounds." But seriously, they are really cute and clever, so you should go look at them here and here and then go buy some here. I would post this picture I have of him working on said crayon rings but unfortunately, he also has my camera. Tim, you better not have deleted that picture. Or else.

PS: I'm sorry I used the term "blogosphere"

PPS: I figured I would stop using "T" on this blog since you know, the link I just put up kind of gives away Tim's real life identity. Not that enough people read this to make that important or relevant. Whatevs.

PPPS: Not that Tim or Michelle are particularly uncommon names, but Michelle is also dating a Tim and sometimes that confuses me.

PPPPS: I filed my federal taxes today and I am getting a refund for the first time ever. HIGH FIVE. Making no money by volunteering full time DOES pay after all!

Today is especially dull

2009-03-19T14:40:00.003-04:00

So I assume you have read somewhere that Kenley from Project Runway was arrested for assaulting her ex-fiance with a cat, a laptop, and three apples, BUT today I found out his name is Zac Penley. Would her name have been Kenley Penley??????? This engagement needs to be back on and this wedding needs to happen.
Today was medical residency match day, which is suspiciously akin to sorority bid day. You rank them... they rank you.. and then you gather and all open your envelopes at the same time. There's crying, there's screaming, there's disappointment, there's matching tshirts and sisterssssssssss (okay, last part only true for one of them)
Speaking of sisters, I kind of miss mine. Lame, I know.

old pictures

2009-03-19T13:46:00.004-04:00

I connected my iphone to my work computer today and it automatically transfered all the pictures. Here are some gems I found:

1. A note from the Best Buy at the corner of Mass Ave and Newbury.. I found this hilarious. Were the employees using the vacuums to vacuum or for more sinister things? I don't know. I don't want to know.

2. Me squishing Joey's face at a Target this past summer because he couldn't make the fishy face himself. Also, he happens to be obsessed with looking at pictures of himself. This kid is going to LOVE facebook.

3. The OG, Kirby. I swear, if I come home one day and it turns out that Kirby is dead and no one bothered to tell me (note: this happened in college), my sister is going to get the beating of a lifetime (note: she would kick my ass).

4. CHRIS MARTIN HIMSELF proposing to S outside of a random Italian Eatery. That's right everyone. It happened, and I have proof. Chris liked it and he was going to put a ring on it but turns out she hates him. A common story.

A normal day in the gauche life

2009-03-18T14:33:00.001-04:00

7:30 alarm on iphone goes off. For those curious, it is the "Bell Tower" ring
Without looking or picking up the phone, poke at screen until the snooze button is deployed and those infernal bells stop ringing
Nine minutes elapse; alarm goes off again
Repeat previous two steps until satisfied (note: this will range from 45 minutes to an hour)
Note background headache. Take three ibuprofin.
Shower in scalding water, stare at the tile, and wonder if I can come up with an excuse to miss work.
Stand in the kitchen and wonder if I can come up with an excuse for breakfast
Stand in front of my closet and wonder if I can come up with an excuse for an outfit
Leave apartment without breakfast, but with outfit.
Listen to "This American Life" podcast while going to work
Make sure to stand in sunlight at the T station
Get to work. Stare dully at the computer.
Read work email. Mostly comprised of emails from Netflix.
Drink a gigantic mug of tea
Stare dully at the computer
Stare longingly out the window
Compulsively go through Google Reader. She is a demanding mistress.
Also visit Twitter, Tumblr, and facebook. Compulsively recheck several times an hour.
Email volunteers re: your schedule, teachers re: their needs, and businesses re: volunteering days . Wait several days for their replies.
Get cornered by my boss, listen to him talk about things we already talked about."I'm just thinking out loud here..."
Recheck Google Reader/Twitter/Tumblr/FB.
Look through vague acquaintances' FB pictures.
Wonder why girls are obsessed with how thin their arms look and why they feel free to comment on that openly.
Wonder if I could be construed as an internet stalker
Subscribe to more RSS feeds/Twitters/Tumblrs because dear God, I need to be amused
Eat Robin Eggs/Gummi bears/candy I found in my desk until I feel sick.
Tumble at my own discretion. Today: James Franco.
Note background headache. Take three ibuprofin.
Force myself to go outside to get food. Continue listening to "This American Life." Alternately think: oh it's so warm, god I hate Chinatown, why won't you walk faster, fuck it's still cold, and why is Ira Glass's voice so irritating / soothing.
Check Gmail, because I have been waiting for this moment all day!
Disappointment: out of 25 emails, 17 are from JCrew telling me there is 20% off of Final Sale LAST DAY!! and the rest are trying to trick me into spending money. Delete all of them. How dare you expose my inadequacies, Gmail??!?
Idly Gchat
Recheck Google Reader/Twitter/Tumblr/FB.
Drink another gigantic mug of tea
Think to myself, "Self, you should update your blog"
Open Blogger dashboard. Think to self, "if this is called blogger, why is the web address on blogspot?"
Create several new posts, each one with a different rambling topic. Deleted or archive all of them, because they are idiotic.
Post something meaningful yet meaningless on blog
Recheck Google Reader/Twit/Tumblr/FB.
Repeat until escape
Continue listening to "This American Life."
Get home. Check mail. Change into PJs. Eat bowl of pasta
Lie down. Take three hour nap
Note background headache. Take three ibuprofin.
Watch basic cable while wrapped in 4 blankets, even though it is warmish outside
Give up on basic cable (can't understand Telemundo and hate Everybody Loves Raymond), read in bed for two hours.
Note background headache. Go to bed at 11.

Smarch lives on

2009-03-17T16:20:00.004-04:00

Without fail, Smarch reminds me of McBones, the scrumpiest friend I have. Hi TN, if you read this, I miss you and our bantering. I also miss Haribo Smurfs candy, and drinking on the Seine, but that is a different story for a different blog post.

There is the Scrumpster himself, pouting in Rome no doubt because his gelato fell off the cone or because we had to go see yet another art museum or because his anti-frizz serum no longer worked.

Smarch is half over. We did it! Hoorayyyyyyy now let's take a nap.

PS: I happened to post this at 4:20pm. COINCIDENCE? I think not.

question

2009-03-11T21:55:00.003-04:00

is it racist when people say, "i'm gettin my hair did"?

extra racism points if the person they are talking to follows up with "mmmmHMMMM"

circle one:

yes / no / michelle, you're an idiot

GIANT CHEETOS

2009-03-11T15:30:00.004-04:00

Something wonderful happened to me today while I was in Shaw's...

I happened upon these
Obviously, in the name of curiosity and puffed cheese love, I had to buy them. Also, they were on sale, so win-win-win situation.

I barely contained myself from ripping open the bag in the store, in fact, I made it all the way until 15 seconds after I got in the door to the apartment...

OH MY. These balls are gigantic (please be thinking "thats what she said" in your mind right now). After I ate about 5, I was actually full. I mean, these almost don't fit in your mouth, they're so big (TWSS), and they kind of hurt your jaw to chew (TWSS?), but they are delicious!

Unbelievable. Many thanks to Chester Cheetah for inventing these and helping me achieve my goal of morbid obesity.

Leggings ≠ Pants

2009-03-10T16:08:00.004-04:00

I would like to take this opportunity to apologize for anyone that I ever made fun of because they were wearing leggings. I now understand that wearing leggings is a fat mess tactic, and is a way to remain decently clothed in stretch fabric while avoiding the donning of actual pants that would hamper your fat mess quotient. That being said, I would also like to take this opportunity to declare three things:

If you are wearing leggings as actual pants (eg: your crotch is not covered), you are wrong and I can no longer respect you. Listen. There have to be boundaries. Leggings are not pants.
Opaque tights are NOT leggings. Seriously. You can still see through opaque tights. That is why they are tights, and not leggings. Tights are not leggings. And once again, leggings are not pants. If you think this should lead you to the conclusion that tights ARE pants, I regretfully inform you that you are stupid.
In especially bad form is: white leggings as pants, and panty lines of any sort while donning leggings as pants (if you're going to do it, can you at least put some effort into it?)

Now that I have let you know these things, college students of Boston, please stop making me want to claw out my own eyes, I don't even care about the uggs anymore, just "check" yourself before you "wreck" yourself. Thaaaaaaaaaanks.

(PS: I was going to include pictures in this post, but after browsing google images, I am too angry to post them)

2009-03-09T15:11:00.002-04:00

My dad asked for my mailing address a while ago, and I was kind of confused.

A few weeks later, some flowers appeared.

Today, I picked up a package at the post office. Inside were these:

They are a series of keychains you could buy from Mister Donut (in Taiwan) after buying whatever dozen of donuts. I have two Pon de Lions, an Erimaki Fashioned (with an old-fashioned donut around his head?), a French Wooler (which is such a great name / pun), a Churrolina-Tonakaina (a deer with churro antlers), and a Chocoringuma (a monkey with chocolate donut ears?). Actually, on closer look, they might be cell phone charms.

The ones pictured are two Butter Lion pencils (also an excellent name), the Angel da Zou (elephant), and the Honey Shippo (the squirrel)

My dad is hilarious. And kind of awesome.

2009-03-06T10:19:00.003-05:00

This is how I feel today. Well, everyday.

youth ruined

2009-03-04T19:37:00.002-05:00

So one of my favorite songs in high school was The Boy With the Arab Strap by Belle and Sebastian. Favorite favorite favorite.

Tonight, I was watching the trailer for this movie with Joseph Gordon Levitt and Zooey Deschanel called 500 Days of Summer (which looks kind of cute in that indie love story way), and I ended up reading an interview with the director about the music in the movie, which lead me to finding out what an arab strap really was.

Glad 16 year old me did not pick up on that.

over caffeinated.

2009-03-04T10:51:00.004-05:00

Spelling the word caffeine gives me a lot of trouble. Isn't it supposed to be "i before e except after c"? uhmmm when did i become a simpleton? Wait, is that question mark supposed to be in the quotations or out of the quotations? I feel like it should be out of the quotations, because... the quote isn't the question? I need to go back to school, my brain is rotting.

Now that I have told you about my lack of grammar knowledge, here is a story I copyread for our newspaper last Thursday :

So I should feel better than I am not as inept as this writer, who consistently enrages me, as apparently, he has never heard of this concept called "proofreading your article after you are done writing the worst piece of shit ever. "

So a nice thing about working in chinatown is that you dont have to be nice to ANYONE. Seriously. Don't do it. If you are nice to anyone, they will take advantage of you by cutting in front of you in line, spitting in your vicinity, and blowing their cigarette smoke in your face. Asians do not tolerate such weakness.

I am in the process of moving my part from the left side to the right side. It makes me feel kinda funny, like when we used to climb the rope in gym class. Just kidding, I could never climb the rope in gym class. Seriously. By the way, if you haven't seen me recently, my hair is terrifyingly long. T told me I'm just making bald people feel bad.

I have done an amazing amount of no work today, even more so than usual. Highlights of the work day so far include: a coffee at Au Bon Pain, writing in my journal, realizing that everyone just got twitter (made possible through my white twin's facebook), immediately following everyone on twitter, and just now, eating a banana. I am amazing.

Apt 401 residents

2009-03-03T20:20:00.002-05:00

The City of Boston just sent out its annual resident listing.

Addressed to the "K---- Family," the notice inside lists two residents of apartment 401:

Me, a female, DOB: 12/29
S, a male, DOB: 01/01/1960

So congrats to S, who is now a sketchy 49 year old man living with a 24 year old female. The male version of S is so obviously a player.

2009-03-02T19:01:00.002-05:00

Would you believe I fell in love over episodes of How It's Made and Sunday evening naps on the couch?

Well, I did.

Like Kevin Garnett, anything is possible

2009-02-27T11:14:00.003-05:00

It is FRIDAY and it is WARM outside

YES.

This of course means that I will be sneaking away from work early, because no doubt the weather will be awful very soon and I must take full advantage of this mid-50s wonderland.

Looking at weather.com's 10 day forecast, I see they are claiming it will snow March 1 - 3, and then again on the 8th. G-D. I better get outside posthaste. (posthaste?)

I am currently drinking a gigantic Dunkin Donuts iced coffee and it is delicious.

G sent me an unexpected copy of The Lonely Island's Incredibad. It is much better quality than my pirated copy of Incredibad. Thanks G! And remember, this boat is real.

Speaking of The Lonely Island, they are making an appearance at Faneuil Hall's Newbury Comics tonight. I will not be in attendance, not only because I feel incredibly uncomfortable in large crowds, but because if I saw Akiva in this outfit:

I would probably maul him.

By the way, what an awkward bulge those shorts are making. This reminds me of one of two episodes of Curb Your Enthusiasm I have ever seen: The one with the Pants Tent.

Ahhhh it's almost March!!

this is a question?

2009-02-24T15:19:00.004-05:00

on my facebook homepage, there is a "research poll" that asks:

The President says he can cut the deficit in half by the end of his first term?

Disagree
Agree

ummm what?

It's Nannerpuss!

2009-02-17T10:11:00.003-05:00

Okay, I know Nannerpuss should probably be spelled Nannerpus but that looks gross to me. So yes, here is a picture of the Nannerpuss I put together for T this weekend. I know. No fishing wire on the tentacles, or googly eyes, and also, he has 10 arms. I tried, okay? For reference, the original. Note they spell it "Nanerpus." Gross.

My morning started off with seeing a pantless homeless man in our building. I noticed it smelled really strange and I opened our front door to see if the maintenance people had taken away our garbage and what should assault my eyes but a homeless man pulling up his pants on the stairs. YIPPEE! S and I saw him again when we left. Very creepy.

Then I dropped a whole bunch of bananas on the floor. Those should be nice and bruised when I want to eat them.

Also the homeless man's strange stench has given me a headache.

Today is going to be terrific.

Good news everyone

2009-02-13T13:32:00.001-05:00

According to Mr Phil Herald,

"Your mail account have been picked as a winner of a lump sum pay out of £891,934.00 pounds sterlings) in cash credited to file REF NO.REF:UKL/74- A0802742009. This is from total prize money of GBP 4,459,670.00shared among the FIVE (5) international winners in this category."

I did it! Yay! Friday the 13th is the best!

Space disc... is totally cancelled

2009-02-13T12:16:00.004-05:00

The latest Garfield without Garfield is terrifying. Jon's teeth are especially disturbing.

Friday friday friday friday friday friday yessssssssssssssssssssssssss

S and I had an epic cheese plate yesterday: a double creme goat (hers, not mine), a raw milk roquefort, Dubliner cheddar, and some Saint Andre triple creme with some Vermont apiary crystallized honey, sopressata, and almonds. Words can't express how much I love cheese.

Was it just me or did you guys think leopard prints were going to die by now? Apparently not.

happy friday the 13th

2009-02-13T11:49:00.001-05:00

to commemorate this day, I walked under a gigantic ladder twice. wait, what's supposed to happen to me now?

The Today Show

2009-02-06T08:12:00.003-05:00

This woman just made an analogy to Matt Lauer comparing a uterus to a one bedroom condo. Would you put eight children in a one bedroom condo?

Jon Hamm's John Ham

2009-02-05T22:36:00.004-05:00

A few things tonight:

Jon Hamm is great. Jon Hamm on 30 Rock is amazing.
LOST is back to excellence. YES.
Anthony Bourdain's No Reservations was just in Chicago, and it made me sad for the first time ever that I don't live there. Chicago friends, can we go to Hot Dougs and get foie gras hot dogs and fries made with rendered duck fat next time I'm in town? Pleeeeeeease?
I am very pathetically missing T, even though we saw each other this morning.
I feel like I have a duty to watch the end of the Celtics - Lakers game, even though neither S or T are here to enforce this duty.
Oreos do not mix well with red wine, contrary to popular belief.
There is such a thing as matte top coat, and I must find it. This black matte nail polish sort of buffs itself to a shine after a few days, and I find that unacceptable.
So love pathetic, it's sad.
Glen "Big Baby" Davis has a spectacular nickname.

Useless things

2009-02-05T12:05:00.005-05:00

Someone's Facebook status just spoiled Lost for me. Damn you, Facebook. Although the spoiler DID seem pretty intriguing...

I'm hungry but it's too cold to go outside for food, since I did not pack a lunch today. Thus, my lunch has been composed of what's in my food drawer: lots of tea, a CLIF bar, a Campbell's Soup at Hand (Tomato), some yogurt covered raisins, and raw almonds. Worst lunch ever. Also, I ran out of gummi bears yesterday. Fuck. I was going to take a picture of the lunch, but then I was too hungry to pause.

Wait, I mean I ran out of the gummi bears I brought to the office, not the five pound bag I bought a few weeks ago, although I'm not sure I would put it past myself to do that.

BBW is leeeeeeeeeeeeaving Boston for warmer (and whiter) pastures out west. Sigh. Jealous. But: new reason to visit Colorado (aka: no longer just a white myth?). Hopefully, BBW can get to the South End soon and we can avoid holding a DPC meeting by eating disgusting amounts of NYPizza.

I've noticed that I have a bunch of stuff that seems to have hung around for an inordinate amount of time. I mean, not things I need like a Social Security card or a birth certificate, but stupid things I should have lost years ago--

I have a Hello Kitty pencil from 1987. NINETEEN EIGHTY SEVEN. I was three when I got that pencil. I still have it. It's sitting on my bedside table. I no longer use it because I am afraid of sharpening it into oblivion.
I have a mechanical pencil from 8th grade that is clear with black rubber grips, and takes 0.5 sized lead (this is important, 0.7 lead is too smudgy) and I have taken every test since 8th grade with it. No, seriously, including the ACTs, SATs, SATIIs, and the MCAT.
I have a Gap gray ribbed cardigan from 2001 (when I used to work at the Gap) that I don't even really like, yet still have, even though I have almost no qualms about donating or throwing away my clothes. Sometimes I put it on, and then think, NO, and then put it back in my closet.

What led me to oversharing and telling you this (so that now you think i am a crazy bag lady type person) is that the chapstick I keep in my desk at work has finally run out (which I think marks the first time I have ever completely used up a tube of chapstick). This ChapStick brand lip moisturizer has been in various coat pockets and drawers since 2003. The weird part is, I don't even really like this chapstick. It's weirdly vanilla scented and kind of waxy tasting... why have I been toting this around for 6 years? Anyways. Goodbye ChapStick, I won't really miss you, but I bet I will buy a chapstick that I love and then use it for a week and then lose it forever.

2009-02-04T13:12:00.002-05:00

In a story on counterfeit bills, the Boston Globe uses all of these phrases:

identified the dough as faux
expose spurious lucre
phony money
adulterated funny money
hinky dollars
crooked currency
fishy $50s
cooked up crazy cash
homegrown greenbacks
money-mongers
dicey dollars
illegitimate loot
penalties for counterfeiting can be stiffer than a crisp $100 bill
when the C in C-note stands for counterfeit, once is more than enough

I can't decide if I find this amusing or awful.... mmm both.

I am feeling very homesick today, and not for friends or Schaumburg or family, but for Chinese food, which is the worst kind of homesickness. I've always associated all of my warm childhood memories with food; I suppose this explains my fat girl mindset. Okay. Let's do some googling (or as Carrie from Sex and the City would say: "Later that day, I logged on to google-dot-com...") and see what kind of recipes I can come up with to make tonight.

oops

2009-02-03T14:38:00.003-05:00

our electricity usage graph between 12/19 and 1/21. no one was even home from 12/23 - 12/30. we suck.

monday monday monday means:

2009-02-02T12:55:00.000-05:00

general public's tenderness: featured in weird science and clueless, both of which i watched this weekend

my stomach hurts from the obscene amount of soda & popcorn I had at the movies with S on Sunday. We saw Revolutionary Road, got depressed, and snuck into Bride Wars, which also depressed us, but in a different way.
I've been obsessed with fruit and candy recently. For those of you who say fruit IS nature's candy, I say shut up.
February: one step closer to summer.

suck it, snuggie

2009-01-30T15:33:00.000-05:00

room in shambles

2009-01-30T11:12:00.002-05:00

2009-01-29T12:42:00.000-05:00

So T and I went to IKEA some time ago and I got this frozen gravlax, which sounds like something you shouldn't be eating but is in reality cold cured salmon, anyways, turns out the salmon was amazing, and turns out it's pretty easy to make at home. Guess what I'm going to be doing? This is only going to intensify my obsession with cured salmon products.

I finished Revolutionary Road last weekend and it in no way was horribly, awfully, soul-crushingly depressing, nor did it make me feel like all human beings are completely alone in life. I also started reading A Good Man is Hard to Find by Flannery O'Connor and it in no way is theologically complicated and filled with morally questionable and grotesque characters.

Things that have been stuck in my head:

My Girls : Animal Collective- only this part: "I don't mean to seem like I care about material things like a social status," but it sounds more like this: "IIIIIIII don't mean to seem like I care about...material things... like-a-social-status"
Owner of a Lonely Heart : Yes - I don't know why, but about 100 times a day for the past three days, this snippet passes through my brain

I think I want to buy some matte lame (is there supposed to be an accent on that e?) leggings (black, obvi), but I'm afraid of how they are going to look. On my ass. Which is huge. I think I need to pay a visit to American Apparel. Speaking of matte, I bought some matte black nailpolish and am waiting for it to arrive in the maillllllllllllll.

I still have not learned how to use the camera my sister and K bought me for Christmas / Birthday. Sighhhhhhhh

Food makes me excited

2009-01-27T17:26:00.002-05:00

Lots of exciting things have been going on since last Thursday. Mostly food related.

Thursday was the day S and I ventured to our local BK and tried the Angry Whopper. Not bad, pretty spicy, kind of a weird sauce that came on it (sweet BBQ?), but the onions were NOT as spiteful as the commercials had led me to believe.

Friday was the day I finally got to go to La Verdad, more than a year of wanting to. I was inspired (read: made hungry) by Anthony Bourdain's No Reservations on Mexico City and its taquerias. T and I shared some amazing corn and had some amazing tacos. I have no pictures, I will blame that on the deliciousness of the food.

Saturday was the day I had a chicken mcnuggets picnic lunch, and four of my favorite drinks in the world at night: hot cider & bourbon, gin & tonic, a manhattan with extra cherries, and a young's double chocolate stout.

Sunday was the day T and I went to Hot Dog Ranch in western Mass and got some "famous baby hot dogs," which were pretty good. They told us two hot dogs probably equaled one normal sized hot dog. Also, we had tater tots. I love tater tots. For dinner, T and I went to Hungry Mother and destroyed everything on our plates. Mini ham & biscuits, fried oysters, trout / steak, pan fried cornbread, and a "moon pie" all met their demise at our hands. Also I had some sweet tea. Plus ten points.

To top it all off, I had yesterday off to celebrate Chinese New Years. I ran some errands, had some quiche and a cafe au lait at Cafe L'Aroma (which also has an amazing fruit tart, which I was too full for), and bought this crazy cotton candy skirt from H&M. They had this amazing section full of flouncy, voluminous cotton voiles in floral print, chunky knits, and detailed coats in a sky blue / cotton candy pink / khaki scheme. Anyways, its literally like a lantern, and plus, it matches all of my black clothes. I love it and wish it was warm / I had somewhere to wear this to.

Now, S and I are going to have some fried chicken. YESSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS

Fourteen Passive-Aggressive Appetizers

2009-01-23T11:49:00.002-05:00

by Yoni Brenner

originally published in the New Yorker, July 21, 2008

Top thick slices of country bread with fresh goat cheese. Sprinkle with herbs and bake until crusty; serve to everyone but Jeff.

Vegetarian friends? Try veggie rumaki: wrap a strip of imitation bacon around a water chestnut, spear with a toothpick, and broil—but instead of imitation bacon use real bacon, and instead of a water chestnut use veal.

Steal Cheryl’s famous potato-salad recipe. When Cheryl asks, “Why did you steal my recipe?,” say, “I don’t know, Cheryl, why did you break my heart?” Then laugh so she knows you’re just kidding.

Blend fresh crabmeat with diced avocado, scallions, and a dollop of mayonnaise for a canapé topping so delicious that it will take your guests a full minute to realize that they’re eating it off dog biscuits. Once they catch on, act mortified and stammer that you must have “mixed up the boxes,” until everyone calms down. Then start crying because the biscuits remind you that today marks exactly eight weeks since you had to put down Buster, and you just miss him so much.

Tell Marissa that you appreciate her concern, but in the two years since Cheryl broke off the engagement you’ve grown up a lot, and you’re really in a much healthier place now. Then say, “Speaking of fiancés, how’s Peter’s alcoholism?” (Note: This is not technically an appetizer.)

For a taste of the U.K., fry up mini-servings of fish-and-chips. Take it to the next level by wrapping them in small pieces of newspaper, which, oddly enough, all seem to be printed with unfavorable reviews of Jeff ’s novel.

Have you ever noticed how sun-dried tomatoes and top-grade peyote look exactly the same? Not a suggestion, really. Just saying.

Another one for the vegetarians. If they think they like tofu, wait until they sample your delicious mock tofu—all you need is chicken fat, puréed pork loin, and five cups of piping-hot tallow. Cheryl will never know the difference.

Tempura makes great finger food, and the batter locks the flavor of just about anything in a savory, opaque crust. Impress your friends with creative choices, from squash blossoms to mislaid car keys to the two-carat engagement ring that Cheryl gave back to you after she “reassessed things.” Surprise!

Guests getting antsy? Head them off with a big bowl of steamed mussels. No one can resist mussels, not even emotionally stunted ex-fiancées and their new poorly-received-novelist boyfriends. Besides, disappearing into the kitchen will give you a chance to collect your thoughts and also to go slash Jeff ’s tires.

Homemade sugared almonds make the perfect sendoff, sure to please all your guests, even the ones who would be bludgeoning you with a tire iron if Peter weren’t standing between you. Good old Peter. He may not be the brightest or the handsomest person, but he’s very large.

As the party disperses, your guests might seem a little ungrateful, calling you an obsessive sociopath or pelting you with sugared almonds. Don’t worry, it’s probably the peyote talking. Just stand on the porch as their cars pull out, your eyes brimming with tears, and shout, “You know, I try, I really do . . .”

Add, “My dog died! He died! And he’s never coming back!”

Hepatitis! (Note: This is not technically an appetizer.)

Five things

2009-01-20T16:46:00.004-05:00

1. I think Dr Leo Spaceman from 30 Rock has the best name on tv.

2. JRL just informed me: "i have too much meat michelle." Take from that statement what you will.

3. My knees are killing me. Bad news re: growing old gracefully

4. Something T said that I thought was very clever (and true): "iphones are like the new holgas"

5. I tend to write myself a lot of emails, and I like to title them things that give no indication as to what is inside. Sent today at 4:51? "Notes on building a time machine"

2009-01-16T15:54:00.001-05:00

I stayed home from work for two days last week, and it has made this week very very awful. VERY AWFUL. I did do a lot of tumblr-ing yesterday, so that was nice. T wants me to make that rainbow cake and I have to say i am a bit curious.

i keep getting things sent to the office so now i have a collection of empty cardboard boxes piling up under my desk.

I am wearing this ring today that T had 3D printed. It is pretty great not only because it closely resembles another ring I have, but its this funny tan/white/gray (T called it an "uncolor") that really works with the shape. The ring I have is in black, but it's hard to wear because it's too... you know, too... "giant black pyramid stud." But this... this innocuous color is perfect. It has a nice texture too, although I think i will have to take it home and put some sort of clear nail polish coat on it. Wikipedia told me it might be made out of cornstarch.

oh gosh, i can't wait to get out of the office.

thurrrrrrrsday

2009-01-15T16:22:00.003-05:00

i seem to remember a time in my life where thursdays meant drinking a lot of coronas.

currently, the only thing thursdays means to me now is that i get to watch a new 30 rock and the office. office. the office. office? the office? "i get to watch a new the office" does not sound right. although technically i think it might be.

i tend to think about awkward phrases a lot, rolling them around in my head right after i've said them or typed them, and it tends to make them even more awkward.

this nail polish i am using smells distinctly like dry erase markers... its a blue that is very close to "dry erase marker blue"... i wonder if the inks are the same. and yes, i am painting my nails at work. again.

okay phew, mission accomplished.

does anyone ever use those CVS coupons that print out with your receipt? i have been going to cvs a lot these days. oooooooh i got some obnoxious fluorescent pink nail polish that i am excited about.

did i tell you that i have started exercising? well, i did. i'm not going to declare it a success yet, since its been about a week and a half. did you know that it takes about 6 weeks for something to be made into a habit? don't ask me where i got that number or how they came up with it.

i have also stopped biting my nails (again) with the help of T constantly chastising me. Thank you, T.

A segment I like to call, "GChat Gems with A.E.L."
A: anything that starts with "honey" i read in a gay voice
A: unless it's "honey child", then i read it in a large black southern woman voice

Blaffairs to Rememblack

2009-01-12T14:39:00.000-05:00

Look, a surprise grape fruit snack in my bag of cvs gummy (boo that y) worms, looks like everything is coming up michelle today! just kidding, I have to stay late at work today. but seriously, everytime i go to cvs, i buy something gummi related. that could be a problem.

i'm wearing large lace patterned black tights today, and im still not sure how i feel about them... i think they could be prettttttttttttty trampy if given that chance. uhmmm don't worry, i am wearing them with a gray flannel skirt (aka, not trampy... i think)

i couldn't sleep last night for the first time in a really long time, lots of things on my mind. i fell asleep briefly and then woke up around 1:30, wide awake. So i did what any 20something would do, drank a glass of soymilk, had a hot dog, turned on charade and read the new yorker. what is wrong with me? i can't say any of those things helped, i still was up until 4. groooooosssssss

S and I watched the golden globes (recorded on dvr and then forwarded at opportune moments, obvi) and I gotta tell you, kind of lame that they didn't nominate Milk for best drama. Not that I didn't love Slumdog, but Milk is by far the better movie. I KNOW FROM EXPERIENCE. no but seriously. T and I saw it this weekend and it was so good and sad, and sean penn is amazing, and james franco looks disturbingly attractive in a mustache, and it makes me wish i liked milk (as a dairy product, i mean).

This was the rest of my weekend: Cambridge burger hunt, burgers, Milk, chicken & waffles (c and dubs?), art show, john maeda, snow storm preparations, nap, chipotle, no snow storm, Tropic Thunder, SNL, obscene amounts of sleep, breakfast for late lunch, IKEA, "fro-yo" & hot dogs, laundering of my new duvet. You can insert "boyfriend time" in between any of the entries on that list, because I spent allllllllllll weekend with T. And it was great. Even if he couldn't find Mario Kart.

over it

2009-01-05T21:17:00.004-05:00

and by over it, i mean totally over the snuggie obsession i've had.

would you check this out... it's called the seal by Vík Prjónsdóttir. thank you iceland. now... where to buy this?

also, on a different but related note, i've been searching for a nice wool blanket to fall in love with.

yes, i have been very cold.

2009-01-05T14:20:00.000-05:00

oh gosh, 2009.

i feel like 2008 went by really fast, and it was a really big year for me, in so many different ways. lots of beginnings, endings, growth, tears, laughs, milestones.

2009 is going to be good. 2009 is going to be big, i can feel it.

i've been tossing around a few ideas in my head about where i'm going to go in september and it seems like one in particular has really captured my imagination. i feel like if i say it out loud though, it will be gone from me, poof, flown away, so right now, i am keeping it close to my heart while i plot the next steps. the really fucking big next steps.

being at home was very nice, but in a way which made me very thankful that it is a place i visit and not a place i live. i spent time with the people that i love, even if it wasn't for long enough in some cases.

this christmas / birthday (let's face it, my birthday will never stand on its own) was the first time ever in which no one asked me what i wanted and still everyone procured things that I love. thinking it about it makes me kind of teary eyed. my heart is so full.

i usually don't make new years resolutions, but i think this year, all i am going to say is that i resolve to be better. be happier, laugh more, love more, hate less, be less sociopathic, be more open, be more deliberate, be less afraid, be less nervous, appreciate more, be better. that's it. it's that easy.

Snowy Day

2008-12-21T15:17:00.003-05:00

The snow has turned into some sort of fast moving sleet, or "wintry mix," if you will, and my heart hurts inside my 4th floor apartment. my heart will hurt when i get irrationally angry about some little thing, why do i get so angry about little things? I don't know, i get indignant very easily, i should probably work on that.

it would be weird if my middle initial was L, Michelle L Kiang, sounds like a weird nickname, oh also my initials would be MLK.

I am feeling very "in progress" today, very, not all together, maybe a little anxious. What should I be doing next year? I'm worried, I'm worrying, it's pointless.

IL in 36 hours.

Have I told you about my wonderful boyfriend who I am completely head over heels for? I'll have to fill you in sometime.

My favorite book when I was little was Richard Scarry's Best Word Book Ever. My favorite coloring book when I was little was one of the Muppet Babies. My favorite page in that book was obviously one where they were in the kitchen, and I remember being overly thrilled that I could use the silver crayon to color in the pots and pans.

Holy fuck this cross stitching makes me want to slit my wrists.

My poor planning on Christmas package deliveries is causing me a lot of stress. Ughgghhughhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh

missing umlaut

2008-12-17T12:42:00.001-05:00

Season 2 premiere of Flight of the Conchords

i blog about the stupidest shit, i am making an effort to inject more meaning into these posts.

things i don't understand:
(continuing with the last post's theme)

modern dance
the ikea commericals with the old black lady
people who wear knee high boots and capri pants that don't overlap
ADDED: manga and anime, I'm sorry, I just can't get behind this

did you know that the only thing i have ever consistently wanted to be when i grew up was an artist? marine biologist, that came and went. archeologist, that came and went. doctor, that is soooo gone. i can remember when i was eight or nine, going to the library and checking out how to draw books and thinking to myself that maybe i had a hidden talent and i should probably check, just in case. i had boxes and boxes of crayons, colored pencils, and markers and i can remember just sitting there with a piece of paper and trying to will myself to draw something. it never worked.

I think this quote is beautiful, it is from october 26th's sunday NYT and about georgia:

"but the president of america should come to tskhinvali, wrecked but alive, wrecked, but with people who are experiencing joy and freedom."

i even underlined the words "wrecked but alive" when i wrote it down, i think that should give you some insight on how i felt during that time period.

from monday, october 27th, i have written down this string of words

trompe-l'oeil
↓
simulacrum
↓
doppelganger
↓
hyperreality

okay michelle... what?

by the way, missing umlaut could be a killer band name.

I Like Typing

2008-12-13T16:46:00.003-05:00

I really do, I like typing a lot. Almost as much as I like writing. I like writing because of how it looks and I l ike typing because of how it sounds.

Things I really like:

the Olsen twins. Shut up, I think they have style. Or stylists. Whatever.
the song Drops of Jupiter by Train. I love it.
legwarmers
Bill Hader and Fred Armisen
TL

Things I hate:

the Lexus commerical with the girl who gets the pony for Christmas. That girl is a biiiiitch.
doing this cross-stitch for my sister

Things I have been interested in:

finding a black blazer
finding a black miniskirt
black military style boots
finding a skirt with the silhouette that miu miu dress i tumblr-ed about has
wearing all black, all the time
turducken

Things I am undecided about:

cutting my hair
plans for the future

I am in a very frivolous mood today.

I really like this title: Today The Sky is Blue and White with Bright Blue Spots and a Small Pale Moon and I Will Destroy Our Relationship Today - Tao Lin

tumblr?

2008-12-10T09:45:00.003-05:00

apparently there is this thing called tumblr, which is kind of like twitter on crack. so i got one because i have a lot of images and things i like to look at and remember and think about. i'm still kind of confused about the concept, but generally, i like it.

tumble

puppy squishing

2008-12-09T13:53:00.004-05:00

there is no fucking way this puppy is real. it's martha stewart's new dog and it kind of reminds me of a refrigerator

...

seriously, i want to squeeze this dog until it yelps a little because i squeezed (or squoze, if prefer) it too hard out of my love for it's cuteness

I want to color with this colored pencil sea urchin.

i was going to write about how i hate pantone's color of the year prediction but i'm too tired to get angry. okay. im going to go home and lie down.

One more thing, I'm gonna pay by check

2008-12-08T13:19:00.003-05:00

I am sick right now, which I blame on a variety of things.

1) I have been very adverse to wearing pants. By this I mean to work. Not that I'm just going pantless all the time.
2a) S sabotaging my health within the apartment by passing on her germs from last week
2b) Law school (any kind of school, really) is a known breeding ground of germs
3) I started hugging people in a misguided attempt to convey real feeling. Michelle hugs will no longer be implemented.
4) Fake winter. Decide now if it will be 50 degrees or 10 degrees, Boston, I don't like flip floppers.
5) Our refusal to turn on our heat coupled with our very poorly insulated windows. This just seems to be a grudge match.
6) I am a very weak person.

"J in My Pants" is a very difficult song to have stuck in your head, because you kind of want to run around yelling "and I jizz in my pants," but you also realize that it's pretty inappropriate to do that while at work. I resolve this problem by just thinking about that song in my head, dreaming of Euro-Andy Samberg, and laughing to myself a lot. Does the beginning noise remind you of "Scream" by Michael and Janet Jackson? That's what it makes me think about. A lot of different people emailed me "Jizz in my Pants" on Sunday because they thought I would like it... does that make me predictable or just the kind of pervy weirdo that likes songs about premature ejaculation? I've noticed that the Lonely Island boys tend to sing with an English accent. Love it.

The Japanese are Crazy

2008-12-05T15:42:00.002-05:00

Look at this gyoza dog... LOOK AT IT

If you're as scared / interested as I am then you are very scared, but VERY interested... also disturbed a little.

I smile to myself in my cubicle

2008-12-04T13:42:00.005-05:00

My happiness level is extraordinarily high, and I think I figured out what I'm giving people for Christmas. Uhmm maybe.

When did I start writing UHM and not UM?

So my dad and I talk maybe once a month for about 5 minutes, and it's usually the same old shit. He recently discovered that I like art, so every once in awhile he'll send me something. He sent me a few pictures of old bikes this week, and this one is my favorite

It's called the Bowden Spacelander, from 1960, and it was the first plastic bike. Also, non-ridable. Also, I love it.

This warmed my heart today: Teddy Bears in Space

Look at that teddy bear on the right, jammed into that plastic bottle! eeeeeeeeeeeee! It's so cute and kind of sad and adorable and I love it.

I'm so filled with happiness and smiles and rainbows and fuzzy bunnies and hearts right now it's disgusting.

Love You Slash Worried About You

2008-12-01T17:53:00.001-05:00

Hi, miss you pre-rehab, buttoned up, frumpy, adorable, borderline attractive Marc

Promiscuous, muscle-y and tatted up Marc kind of scares me.

PS: I wish that Sprouse's graffiti aesthetic would go away.

PPS: On second thought, Marc might still be on drugs.

It's from Resort 2009, and it's 900 dollars / 225 dollars per bow. Take that in.

Euphoric Typing

2008-11-26T12:34:00.000-05:00

The grass so brown
The sky so blue
Boston is really great!

Fine, I ripped that poem off from Big Fish. Also, Boston isn't that great, but that's neither here nor there.

I've been in a disturbingly good mood the past few days, what's the deal with that? As T once said, "I thought depression was your thing." I think my depression just hit earlier than everyone else's, so now that I'm feeling happy and excited, my peers are falling into the "when is my real life going to begin, I've been out of college for two years, my job sucks, i'm in my mid-twenties" pit of despair. Hey peers, I love you!

I sound too smug, it makes me want to punch myself. Don't worry, I'm not being smug, I really do love you, and as S said to me once, "Buck up, bucko." I will mail you all presents of life affirming joy, or at the very least, mail-bombs.

I hate people who buy crappy presents out of obligation. Presents, to me, are something usually agonized over and worried about because they have to be this Perfect Representation of Our Relationship or Something About You. I think bad presents are even worse than no present at all.. bad presents say, I like you, but not enough to put anymore thought into your present than stepping into Bath and Body Works and getting this scented candle with bath gel. This isn't to say I have never given a bad present, I just black those memories out with some of Gob's Forget-Me-Nows. Now that would be a good present.

But anyways, I was thinking about that because it's present buying time, and I'm probably going to give myself an ulcer about it. Uuuuuuughhhhhhhhhh.

I was just in a party planning committee meeting, and I couldn't stop laughing throughout the whole thing because I kept thinking of Angela and Phyllis. Office culture is really weird. Fuck, am I going to have to spend time with these people at this holiday party?

Fact: The agency is supplying the beer for the party, which has been downstairs in our non-climate controlled storage since June.

Fact: I will not be drinking that beer.

Oooooooooh I got to wear dresses and skirts all week because it hasn't been terrifyingly cold. Amazing. I get to go home tomorrow. I love life. I also love gummi bears, but not gummy bears. I think the "i" leads a air of frivolity. I really want some right now.

It's 12:30, no one is in my office, I'm going to go home, make some dough, listen to some NPR podcasts, and pack.

Who would win in a fight between a grilled cheese sandwich and a taco?

2008-11-24T13:48:00.005-05:00

Time has been going by really fast for me... you? Yes? No? I think yes.

I've been borderline obsessed with SNL recently, and although I didn't really like the "Everybody's a Critic" sketch, that song that Andy plays when he's painting Paul Rudd is running through my head non-stop. It's so good but also no good.

I yoinked this picture of Paul Rudd naked & pixellated from the internets. You're welcome.

I saw two movies this weekend with T, Synecdoche, New York on Saturday and Hot Rod on Sunday. I think both movies were irreverent but also good. Synecdoche was directed by Charlie Kaufman and Hot Rod's script was worked on by Will Ferrell and the Lonely Island boys, so that should give you a pretty good idea about what these films were like. Um did you know that Andy Samberg is 30? And dating Joanna Newsome? WHAAAAT?

Wearing a dress and tights today was a "wicked retahded" idea. I should have dressed Derelicte.

Thats actually a picture of John Galliano from Dior's Cruise 2009 show that I have had bookmarked for a looooong time because I think he is hilarious. And awesome. And very derelicte. And this entire paragraph was an excuse to post this picture.

My sister turned 33 on Saturday. I slip into my mid-twenties soon. Gross.

I wish I had some Cheez-Its (Sunshine brand ONLY). In college I once ran a sensory taste test panel on regular and reduced fat Cheez-Its, which left me with an abundant supply of orange, sodium-filled, addiction inducing goodness. The bulk boxes from CostCo are the ultimate.

I feel really happy today, with a side of smitten, and just a bit excited. Juuuuuuuust a bit. All I feel like doing is smiling really big while shrugging my shoulders and laughing, it just feels right today.

It's Friday, I'm in Love

2008-11-21T12:50:00.000-05:00

A boy I liked once dedicated that song to me in what I like to call, the smoothest fucking move ever. He was a tricky one, and "Friday, I'm in Love", along with some other choice tracks (I can think of another two off the top of my head), always makes me think of him fondly, even after four years... five years? Oh those radio DJs, always such ladykillers.

Uhm, that wasn't the topic of this post. Not that they usually have a topic, but I just wanted to clarify. Maybe I should start having defined topics.

I saw Slumdog Millionaire with JRL in LA last weekend, and it was great, cute story, very Bollywood-esque. Amazing visuals and I think very well put together. Go watch it, I don't know how to write about movies.

I was thinking about homunculi the other night. Go check one out, it will remind you of when you first learned about it in high school. I love how the figurines look, except they kind of remind me of stoner art. In physiology lab one time, we did this bizarre experiment involving calipers and pinching different areas of your body and seeing how it was sensed differently. I so hated that class. I sometimes hate not being in class right now.

Really cannot stop listening to this song: Pale Young Gentlemen's The Crook of My Good Arm. Go listen to it, and then when you are listening to it, you can think about me.

Cooking Mama PETA edition

2008-11-20T17:01:00.006-05:00

Big thanks to A for gchatting with me during the day (when he is learning lawyerly stuff and I am mindlessly reading news or blog posting) and providing me with time wasters such as this

I know it's supposed to NOT make me want to roast a turkey, but it actually makes me super excited to have Pre-Thanksgiving Thanks Giving. HOWEVER! I will pass on the same piece of advice A passed on to me: "when you get to tofu, just fucking stop b/c the game sucks then"

EDIT: I had to remove the movie because the death noises were driving me crazy... crazier than normal.

Michael Phelps; constantly setting the standards of douche

2008-11-20T14:08:00.010-05:00

Dear Michael Phelps,

Your douchebag clothing is appalling. Please never wear more than a Speedo. Also, let's keep that swim cap on.

Love, Michelle

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2008-11-20T12:39:00.011-05:00

You guys... have you been outside? It is cold... as fuck. I am not sure of the actual temperature of "fuck," but whatever, that's how cold it is.

I got drunk with S on wayyy too many mimosas one day and alternately spent my time having meaningful conversations with her and mixing up some nail polish. The resulting color is a concrete gray, and I love it. It's sitting on my desk right now. Because I painted my nails yesterday. At work. After I blogged. Because I do no work.

Oooh check out a picture of my misshapen hand that I just email-blogged to myself. Technology is scary.

In other news, the boys from Proenza Schouler (Lazaro and Jack), have their own small organic farm out in the Berkshires in Mass where they grow some crops and animals... How awesome is that?

Proenza Schouler Fall 2008

Organic Turkeys

Things I currently think I hate but am willing to try again: Pears. I feel like there are only two kinds of pears I have run into. 1) Unripe, 2) Mushy. Where can I find the pear which falls at 1.5?