Listen...

I know that I was in AmeriCorps for a year, and that gives me a gigantic sense of "fuck you, I never have to volunteer again," but how can you not donate anything to Haiti right now? When I was tutoring in Boston, my favorite students were from Haiti and always spoke about how bad things were there but how much they loved it. You don't even have to get off of your gigantic red sweatpanted ass to do it (that refers specifically to me. I bought red sweatpants with elastics on the legs from Target for 7 dollars and I love them)

So text to donate. What is 10 dollars to you? It's 3 lattes, 2 beers, a bottle of wine, one pair of red sweatpants, or you know what? Just think of whatever asinine thing you are next going to spend 10 dollars on and know that you can do without it.

Yikes

For a long time, I was totally paranoid about someone cutting off my ponytail on the subway / bus because I had read about assaults like that happening. Everyone I told this fear to denied the existence of this horrifying crime. WELL. READ IT AND WEEP BITCHES.

So glad I don't partake of public transportation on the reg anymore.

Also, I need to get a haircut. I'm below the belly button and my hair is even melted into the snow on our front step. (gross, I know)