June Gloom

I felt really good all yesterday and then when I came home, I fell asleep reading Infinite Jest and when I woke up, I felt awful again. Damn you fake swine flu. It's the kind of sickness that never allows you to fully catch your breath and just makes me audibly sigh all day long. Maybe I would have been doing that anyways.

I think this extended spell of cloudy days has ushered me into seasonal affective disorder. Paired with unexpected deaths, the DPC, and other goings on has made me very ruminative. Um, sorry.

Last Sunday was what was supposed to be my mother's 61st birthday. Well, I guess it still was. I think when you first start dealing with death, you convince yourself that you're going to get over it. You know, like thats a natural part of healing. That's why the first year someone is gone is such a big deal. Its for you to start "Getting Over It" and "Heal." I think maybe thats why the second year has been so hard for me, because I started realizing that I would never Get Over It, really. Not saying I don't think I'll heal, but you know what I mean. I don't know, maybe it's a realization that there's just going to be a space in the rest of my life with every accomplishment, every happy moment, every holiday, every anything. That's okay though. Maybe that's nice. Maybe that's the last real way she can be there in my life.

OOOOOOOOOOOOOO that got heavy. I've been too contemplative recently. Why can't the sun come out and stay out and change my brain chemicals?

I think today we should all hug someone we love for a long time. Yay.

Sorrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrry

Sorry I haven't written lately except to put up embarrassing pictures of J and G, but I've been all sorts of out of sorts. SO I'LL MAKE THIS ONE REAL GOOD, I PROMISE.

...

IS IT GOOD YET? (you don't have to lie to me)

Saturday! My savior! If this forecast changes in the next five days, I am going to burn this city down. It has been 60 degrees and rain-misting every day for the past 3 weeks, with the exception of MAYBE two days. One of those days I went with S to Winthrop Beach and while we got a tan (kinda), we had to hide under the gusts of wind. I obviously immediately got sick. TEN THUMBS DOWN! But we also got gigantic ice cream cones, so I'm going to upgrade my rating to FIVE THUMBS DOWN!

Lots of stuff has happened these past few weeks. I got excited about the new iPhones. MPS escaped the Trib Company and came out here for a visit and a Sox game. I watched He's Just Not That Into You at the Red Cross and then found 20 dollars on the sidewalk. (prob from a drug deal gone awry). S and I went on the Master Cleanse, and then I fell down a flight of stairs. I ranted and raved about my shitty Nikon camera to anyone that would listen / read my tweets (I blame Ashton Kutcher). I saw the Dirty Projectors with Gordo and was confused at the mix of people present in the Somerville Theater. I got a new iPhone. I made friends with Gov Deval Patrick

Y lo que ahora?

The online book club for reading Infinite Jest (called Infinite Summer) started yesterday, and I'm excited to get going with that. I've had IJ on my bookshelf / under a table in the family room for awhile but just couldn't get very far in the book. This is an undertaking that will involve multiple bookmarks, notations, deadlines, and usage of a notebook. (Wait, this kind of sounds like school...)

Maybe I'll get serious on you for a few minutes.

Um no, just kidding. Maybe later.

Tim and I went to a pet store in the Saugus Mall yesterday. There was an adorable black pug and a papillion. Good thing we didn't have an extra thousand dollars in our pockets.

38 more working days as a VISTA. Seriously guys, it's almost over.

Real Quick...

...before I go to bed.

These are the first two pictures on my iphoto

Hahahaha

It was a really nice weekend, the kind that makes you want to faceplant on your desk Monday morning.

Tim and I did some gardening... wait, I meant "gardening"


I went with the Urban Gardener brand of herbs and T contributed a smiley mahogany man with india ink hair. We have basil, thyme, sage, rosemary, and cilantro.



He also decided to create an ad for MiracleGro Moisture control potting soil with his hibiscus. And part of a surfboard.

Of course, after we had planted our new garden... "garden," I poked at all the herbs every chance I got, we obsessed over them, and said things like, "I think they're really settling in!" T reminded me we would lose interest in a few days. That's probably true.

We went to IKEA and Home Depot (not once, but TWICE! for gardening supplies) this weekend, which makes it official, we are living some sort of yuppie dream.