Jorts All Day

I just tweeted about this, but I would like to take a short blog moment to say: I would really and truly love a song about Jorts. Jorts. Jorts all day.

First of all, what are Jorts?

Urban Dictionary defines jorts as "Jean shorts. Worn mostly by children and douchebags. Jorts are perhaps the easiest way to recognize people you will not like."

I would define jorts as the single greatest piece of summer denim wear in existence.

My struggles with jorts goes back to my beginnings (much like Charlie and cats) but now, all of my repressed feelings about jorts are coming back.

Namely, I LOVE THEM but i was just ashamed of it before. I have three (3!!!!!!) pairs of jorts. A black pair, a medium colored pair, and a dark pair that I just cut up today.



This is Jorts "Patient Zero," eg: the pair that started it all. They were a pair of Lucky Brand Dream Jeans, from 2003 (maybe 2002?). These jorts were with me through the good times and the bad times; the fat times and the skinny times; the American times and the European times (I wore them for almost 4 weeks straight while backpacking); the cold times and the hot times (remember how I said I didn't use to wear jorts? I was a jeans in summer kinda gal). In fact, these could possibly be the jeans that the best selling bookseries and popular movie "Sisterhood of the Traveling Pants" was based on.

Like so many things that you love to death, I eventually forgot about these jeans, forgoing them for darker washes and different cuts. UNTIL THIS SUMMER. AND NOW THEY'RE BACK. With a vengeance? But seriously. Love these jorts. The jorts have a lot of history in them. All that distressing you see is actually natural.

If I get a pair of light jorts and WHITE jorts, I will have completed the jorts pentfecta. Yes, I just made up the word pentfecta.

BUT : white shorts are always, always, ALWAYS an indicator of a trashy girl. The shorter, the trashier. That being said, I have no problem with trash.

I love my jorts and I wear them with pride. Live free or die! No greater expression of American Freedom than DIY jorts (...right?)

I was talking with Tim on the phone today about how I can't pack all my clothes yet since we aren't making the move until Saturday and he reminded me all I needed was a pair of jorts and a few tank tops / t shirts. Occam's Razor. Forget about dresses and skirts and what not. All you need are the basics: jorts and tops. One pair of jorts + 5 tops = Michelle is set until Saturday. Tim is the smartest.

Anyways. Jorts. Try them! You'll like them!

PS: I am not vouching for cargo jorts. Cargo jorts are the third trimester abortion of the jorts debate. I'm no radical!

Two more days!

Today is a head:desk today. Repeated head:desk.

Many of my projects have recently ended / are ending soon ...

I finished Infinite Jest some time last week. Like most things that don't follow a chronological timeline, the ending was borderline infuriating, like how I imagine LOST's last season will be. That being said, it was still an amazing book, that I would like to revisit some time soon.

I ALSO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Finished Keyboard Cat


I made his nose pink and his eyes closed, per Tim request. KBC will be ready to make the big move.

Yes indeedy, I have started packing, for the end of my Massachusetts Residence AND Vista is at hand.



For Realzies!

Monday = Blogday

It might hit 90 degrees today in ol' crappy Boston-town! Hooray?

My day started bright and early at 6:15, which meant I was a zombie. Whenever I get up early, my brain is all confused. I never know what I should wear, I have to check the weather 2 or 3 times, and I wander in and out of the bathroom forgetting whatever it was that made me go in there in the first place.

One thing that I DID remember was to start downloading episode 208 of True Blood. We all have to have priorities.



I'm totally into Sheriff Eric in the show, but I'm totally not into what he's selling in real life. I shouldn't have Google Image Searched him :(

TEN THUMBS DOWN! Don't worry, once he's got that track suit and slicked back hair goin on I'll be into it again.

BTW: When I googled "Eric True Blood," a Dr. Eric Trueblood in Bloomington, IN showed up. Best name ever in the worst state ever!

At 7am, I went to a dreamworld of magic: my dentist's office. Hooray.

Oh yes, I broke my temporary crown on Saturday at a birthday party while eating pita chips. I then broke another tooth by chewing on said broken crown.

My dentist fixed me up and sent me on my way, sans 500 dollars. If you're keeping track out there, that brings the total up to 3500, which is the going rate for about 4 months of full time VISTA work. Believe it.

When I was just about to leave, the dentist told me it was a shame that I was moving, because I'm such a great patient. Of course, he meant to say, because your teeth are awful and I got bills to pay.

Now I got a new tooth, molded out of nothing but a song and a prayer and tooth colored composite and 500 dollars, much like yours truly.

HEY! FOUR MORE DAYS!

Snaggley

Tim and I picked up the keys and signed the lease to our new house in Portsmouth on Saturday! Our land lady is nice. Too nice. Midwest nice! She told us we could park at her house if we wanted to go to the beach and if the house was open, we could use the bathroom too. Janet, you're the best already.

That's what our backyard looks like! Lots of shade from old maple trees, none of which reside in our yard.

We then went up to Maine to get some of Flo's special hot dogs, and a trip to Yummies, which is a giant candy store. Obvi bought some gummi bears and peanut brittle.



Flo's hot dogs are good, even though the ingredients are a bit strange. Also, I had a Moxie soda (as seen behind the hot dog in the picture). No clue what's in that. Tim said it tasted like the dentist. Having been to a dentist this morning, I will disagree. Flo's sauce is some sort of secret onion/molasses deal. Which is delicious. Very snappy hot dogs. I would most def go back.

Then on Sunday, I broke my tooth! As you may or may not know, I have two crowns on my front teeth, because one of them up and died on me about five years ago. The left crown decided to bail on me yesterday, probably due to several factors: my teeth grinding, my nail biting, and my consumption of peanut brittle. The last straw was when I didnt use it to eat some delicious nuggs. It dropped off my real tooth in protest.



I spared you the close up picture of that. It was too snaggley for blog use.

So I went to a dentist this morning and was told several horrifying things: 1) I have to wear a mouth guard, 2) that mouth guard is 800 dollars, 3) the new tooth is 2000 dollars, 4) I probably have a cavity. In GOOD news, instead of taking 3 months for my crown, they are taking some sort of digital scan of my tooth and making the crown in house, so it will be a 4 hour appointment and I will be done! The dentist there is super nice and very knowledgeable, so that 3000 dollar bill is made somewhat better. Just kidding, no it's not.

I was so distraught because of my snaggle status that I couldn't concentrate on the task at hand - which was LSAT studying. Instead, I focused on keyboard catting.



Look! Rorschach keyboard cat!