Jorts All Day

I just tweeted about this, but I would like to take a short blog moment to say: I would really and truly love a song about Jorts. Jorts. Jorts all day.

First of all, what are Jorts?

Urban Dictionary defines jorts as "Jean shorts. Worn mostly by children and douchebags. Jorts are perhaps the easiest way to recognize people you will not like."

I would define jorts as the single greatest piece of summer denim wear in existence.

My struggles with jorts goes back to my beginnings (much like Charlie and cats) but now, all of my repressed feelings about jorts are coming back.

Namely, I LOVE THEM but i was just ashamed of it before. I have three (3!!!!!!) pairs of jorts. A black pair, a medium colored pair, and a dark pair that I just cut up today.



This is Jorts "Patient Zero," eg: the pair that started it all. They were a pair of Lucky Brand Dream Jeans, from 2003 (maybe 2002?). These jorts were with me through the good times and the bad times; the fat times and the skinny times; the American times and the European times (I wore them for almost 4 weeks straight while backpacking); the cold times and the hot times (remember how I said I didn't use to wear jorts? I was a jeans in summer kinda gal). In fact, these could possibly be the jeans that the best selling bookseries and popular movie "Sisterhood of the Traveling Pants" was based on.

Like so many things that you love to death, I eventually forgot about these jeans, forgoing them for darker washes and different cuts. UNTIL THIS SUMMER. AND NOW THEY'RE BACK. With a vengeance? But seriously. Love these jorts. The jorts have a lot of history in them. All that distressing you see is actually natural.

If I get a pair of light jorts and WHITE jorts, I will have completed the jorts pentfecta. Yes, I just made up the word pentfecta.

BUT : white shorts are always, always, ALWAYS an indicator of a trashy girl. The shorter, the trashier. That being said, I have no problem with trash.

I love my jorts and I wear them with pride. Live free or die! No greater expression of American Freedom than DIY jorts (...right?)

I was talking with Tim on the phone today about how I can't pack all my clothes yet since we aren't making the move until Saturday and he reminded me all I needed was a pair of jorts and a few tank tops / t shirts. Occam's Razor. Forget about dresses and skirts and what not. All you need are the basics: jorts and tops. One pair of jorts + 5 tops = Michelle is set until Saturday. Tim is the smartest.

Anyways. Jorts. Try them! You'll like them!

PS: I am not vouching for cargo jorts. Cargo jorts are the third trimester abortion of the jorts debate. I'm no radical!