In a story on counterfeit bills, the Boston Globe uses all of these phrases: 

• identified the dough as faux
• expose spurious lucre
• phony money
  
• adulterated funny money
  
• hinky dollars
  
• crooked currency
  
• fishy $50s
  
• cooked up crazy cash 
  
• homegrown greenbacks 
  
• money-mongers 
  
• dicey dollars
  
• illegitimate loot
  
• penalties for counterfeiting can be stiffer than a crisp $100 bill
  
• when the C in C-note stands for counterfeit, once is more than enough
  

I can't decide if I find this amusing or awful.... mmm both. 

I am feeling very homesick today, and not for friends or Schaumburg or family, but for Chinese food, which is the worst kind of homesickness. I've always associated all of my warm childhood memories with food; I suppose this explains my fat girl mindset. Okay. Let's do some googling (or as Carrie from Sex and the City would say: "Later that day, I logged on to google-dot-com...") and see what kind of recipes I can come up with to make tonight.