Can't sleep, clowns will eat me

Sometimes you talk to someone and you say something like "can't sleep, clowns will eat me" and they just look at you like you're an insane simpleton. I would rather those people not be in my life.

It's one of those nights where I am sleepy but not sleeping. When I lie in the bed, I just stare at the ceiling. Even my glow in the dark bear keychain has lost its phospholuminescent glow.

I'm really not sure phospholuminescent is a word.

Timmy is tossing and turning and dreaming about something that causes him to laugh derisively every fifteen minutes or so. The other night, he rolled over, said "I dont like that, I like this" and a few nights before that, it was sleep snapping of the fingers. Makes you wonder what you are mumbling about in your sleep and who knows the secret thoughts of your dream mind.

Up here in Portsmouth in this alternately cozy and freezing house, I feel very content. And I guess it surprises me. A year ago, I wouldn't have believed that I could be happy hanging out around a small house with a boy and a pup all day, sans job, in a New Hampshire town. A year ago, I was a different person, we all are to some degree. I feel relationships drifting apart and bobbing away, but I'm not worried for a few reasons.

That's the problem with contentment... where's the hunger? Once you stop wanting and desiring, you settle in and get mossy. I of course use the terms "settle in" and "get mossy" instead of "rust" and "become stale" to try and convey the comfortableness of the entire situation... I'm not sure many people are looking for that kind of contentment in their life.

And neither am I, well I mean, I don't want this forever, although I am very fond of it right now. So I'm writing this as a way to remind myself: Michelle, there are more things ahead, more paths and more work. Enjoy this time to the fullest before real life comes in again.

We talk about how one day, we will look back on this time and shake our heads... did we really stay up all night cutting rings and gluing boxes only to miss the shipping date? did we really live in that tiny house with that tiny dog in that tiny yard?

How many things do you think that about now?

What a nice, universal human thought.

Oh, where was I going with this?

I just took a five minute interlude to think about how this applies to everyone, re: why it is only nice to hang out with your old friends for brief times. What I mean is this: when you are with someone from your past, you already have a concrete idea of who they are and what they like. When you see them, you first find out what's new in their lives and then you immediately get back to reminiscing and trying to convince yourself that not so much time has passed since you knew that person. The longer you are with them, the more differences you start the notice. New unsavory habits or newfound sainthood. This is always refreshing and wonderful at first, but then ultimately disturbing... where is the person you knew before? You can't get over it. The only way to get over it is to get into Plan: Prolonged Rekindling, where your old friend becomes your current friend, and you stop noticing changes and start noticing how they are the same. I don't mean the same in a "stale" or "rusty" way, I of course am talking about that familiar and comforting same way.

That was a rant that had no purpose or redeeming qualities to it and I will leave it up, even though I think I will read it back to myself in the morning and think about what an ass I am.

I don't know what I was trying to convey with that. Except for I love all of my friends because I know that we are simpatico, even if we don't know what's going on in each others lives 24/7 (although the internet certainly helps)

I know that I am afforded many luxuries because my mom died, and I don't mean in terms of an inheritance or her jewelry, but that I was given last year and this year for myself, instead of scrambling for a job or finishing a masters in a program i hated. I was granted the luxury of knowing my friends are family, and I don't mean that in a neglectful way, when I say that my friends are family, I mean that no matter how long it's been, when we all sit on that gigantic Kiang Family wrap around couch, no matter if you have been there before, we are all family together and warm together and covered in dogs together (the last part is very true. anyone who hasn't been to the house in a while would be appalled). I was granted the luxury of knowing that my family is like a ride or die chick... my analogies are getting weak.

So that's it. I didn't have any intentions of saying anything like this, but I suppose that was what was on my mind.

Back to bed I go, I hope sleep finds me soon.

Even though I really want to put my cold feet on Timmy when I get into bed, I won't.

It's already the end of October, sometimes I don't understand where all the time goes.

I've been thinking about how I ended up here, and if I'm supposed to be doing all of this. Is there a life plan or is life just a series of coincidences whose outcome is determined solely by timing? What is multiverse Michelle doing, the one that chose the opposite as me?

I don't know. I've been having trouble with the Truth, capital T.

I guess everyone is troubled with the Truth sometimes.

Saturday Night Live

October seems to be an important month in my life, what with the last two delivering me my mother's untimely death and my first date with Timothy, respectively. As it is also the beginning of fall and a reminder of our imminent delivery into winter, Octobers are a bit sad.

To try and head off the frownies, here's what's been making me smile:

• My family who gets crazier every year and loves to fight about where we go on vacation.  
  
• My babe who is on his way to great things
  
• My pup who is getting handsomer every day
  
• Old friends and big hugs
  
• A windy fall afternoon at the Modern Wing of the Art Institute
  
• Makers Manhattans
• Conan on at 11
  
• Gorgeous fall colors in the neighborhood
  
• Sunny afternoons in the backyard
  
• Bill Hader
• Long late afternoon family naps
• Portsmouth, NH
• Florida on Monday! 90 degree weather! AHHHHH

Tim told me I should blog

And since I refuse to study for the LSAT any more today, here I am! YAY!

...

It's only been a year since I've been out of school and I've totes forgotten how to study. That and, I'm not sure I am 100% in the "I Care About This Test" mindset. Maybe I will become more focused tomorrow (probs not). Um also I just found out I have been constantly scoring in the 97th percentile, which is the worst piece of news I could have possibly gotten at this point in studying.

The computer is in the spare room that Timmy set up and I am blogging while Fred sits in his bed, chewing a toy and intently staring at himself in the bottom of the full length mirror. Fred is a narcissist. Earlier today he was licking the mirror where his nose was and then went behind it to investigate where that handsome pup really was.

Oh man I've turned into one of those crazy people that only talks about their dog aghhhghghghghg sorry. I'm a dog person now. Cats can suck an egg

Just kidding, 1 out of every 10 cats is still okay in my book. Maybe. TBD.

I've been making espressos in the morning, which has been a pretty nice replacement to that bad vietnamese coffee habit I picked up last year. Anyways. I just put some cream in it and then a dusting of cinnamon, rendering this coffee drink not an actual coffee drink. I also haven't grasped the concept of cinnamon "dusting." I like to go with a dainty cinnamon HEAPING on the top of the coffee. Sigh. I'm trying here guys, I swear.

Latest crazy dog lady thing I just did: uploaded two videos of Fred whining and barking at himself in the mirror. Yes, I know I have a problem. That being admitted, why don't you be my enabler and watch them here? He looks big in the videos and thats cuz he is. Mr Fat Ass here is up to 5 pounds, 14 ounces. DISGUSTING. Immediate diet. BUT SERIOUSLY FRED IS SUPER CUTE SO WATCH THESE VIDEOS.

WE'RE GONNA BECOME INTERNET FAMOUS YALL.

Maybe.

Hey remember in the Daily Illini, there was a comic called Ninja Please? And another one about some guy named Matt and a bunch of line drawings? Those were pretty good. I miss those. I would post some examples, but I really can't find them. :(

Happy Birthday to my Timmy

It's strange to think that one year ago, we didn't even know each other. And now, 11 months later, I'm waiting for you with our dog to get back to our home in New Hampshire so we can go out and celebrate.

Love you so much. You deserve all the best in the world

xoxo, kees kees

Life in the ATL(antic Heights)

I can't believe an entire blog entry about jorts was what I left up for three weeks while real life happened. SORRY.

I assume everyone who read that is now currently wearing jorts. Right guys? Uhh... right?

Just kidding, it's already fall. Sorry to break it to all of you. It was 48 degrees here a few mornings ago. Ten trillion thumbs down.

OH MY GOD I MOVED TO PORTSMOUTH AND FORGOT TO BLOG ABOUT IT. But yes. We're here! We did it!

An insane amount of whatnot has been going on here. INSANE. WHAT. NOT.

Apparently I am really enjoying the caps lock tonight.

We moved in less than two weeks ago, uhhhhhhhhh whatttttt it feels like so long ago that we were still in Boston.

Less than two weeks and now I am sitting in the living room typing this entry while Tim and Fred are sitting on the couch watching tv :)

If maybe you don't know me or maybe you aren't paying attention or maybe you have cooler things to do than creep on my flickr, Tim and I got a little long haired chihuahua pup!

His name is Fred and he is a 5 pound kissin machine. Seriously. This dog loves to lick your face. It would be kind of gross except for he doesn't slobber.

He is adorably pathetic and he loves the couch. Couch fiend. It's insane. He's sleeping all day just burrowed up in these blankets

This picture was not staged. Fredster will play for an hour maybe and then will pounce onto the blankets and use his nose to flip the blankets to burrow into them aaaaaaaaaaaah its so cute I could die.

He is also really pretty pathetic, which makes him very cute. Tim is trying to toughen him up and make him a man but with me its snuggs and hugs all day. AALLLLL DAY. Snuggs, hugs, naps, and yard time.

My family also came up to visit and we ate lots of delicious food and delicious lobsters. Joey is a crazy man. CRAZY. Also, I went candlepin bowling for the first time. Why do New Englanders insist on everything just being sliiiiiightly different?

There is still an absurd amount of stuff to be done around the house and a lot of stuff that I'm still getting used to... like emptying the dehumidifier in the basement... but it's really nice. I really love it up here with my little family in my little house in my little piece of New Hampshire. Even if our dog is afraid to go outside.

Jorts All Day

I just tweeted about this, but I would like to take a short blog moment to say: I would really and truly love a song about Jorts. Jorts. Jorts all day.

First of all, what are Jorts?

Urban Dictionary defines jorts as "Jean shorts. Worn mostly by children and douchebags. Jorts are perhaps the easiest way to recognize people you will not like."

I would define jorts as the single greatest piece of summer denim wear in existence.

My struggles with jorts goes back to my beginnings (much like Charlie and cats) but now, all of my repressed feelings about jorts are coming back.

Namely, I LOVE THEM but i was just ashamed of it before. I have three (3!!!!!!) pairs of jorts. A black pair, a medium colored pair, and a dark pair that I just cut up today.



This is Jorts "Patient Zero," eg: the pair that started it all. They were a pair of Lucky Brand Dream Jeans, from 2003 (maybe 2002?). These jorts were with me through the good times and the bad times; the fat times and the skinny times; the American times and the European times (I wore them for almost 4 weeks straight while backpacking); the cold times and the hot times (remember how I said I didn't use to wear jorts? I was a jeans in summer kinda gal). In fact, these could possibly be the jeans that the best selling bookseries and popular movie "Sisterhood of the Traveling Pants" was based on.

Like so many things that you love to death, I eventually forgot about these jeans, forgoing them for darker washes and different cuts. UNTIL THIS SUMMER. AND NOW THEY'RE BACK. With a vengeance? But seriously. Love these jorts. The jorts have a lot of history in them. All that distressing you see is actually natural.

If I get a pair of light jorts and WHITE jorts, I will have completed the jorts pentfecta. Yes, I just made up the word pentfecta.

BUT : white shorts are always, always, ALWAYS an indicator of a trashy girl. The shorter, the trashier. That being said, I have no problem with trash.

I love my jorts and I wear them with pride. Live free or die! No greater expression of American Freedom than DIY jorts (...right?)

I was talking with Tim on the phone today about how I can't pack all my clothes yet since we aren't making the move until Saturday and he reminded me all I needed was a pair of jorts and a few tank tops / t shirts. Occam's Razor. Forget about dresses and skirts and what not. All you need are the basics: jorts and tops. One pair of jorts + 5 tops = Michelle is set until Saturday. Tim is the smartest.

Anyways. Jorts. Try them! You'll like them!

PS: I am not vouching for cargo jorts. Cargo jorts are the third trimester abortion of the jorts debate. I'm no radical!

Two more days!

Today is a head:desk today. Repeated head:desk.

Many of my projects have recently ended / are ending soon ...

I finished Infinite Jest some time last week. Like most things that don't follow a chronological timeline, the ending was borderline infuriating, like how I imagine LOST's last season will be. That being said, it was still an amazing book, that I would like to revisit some time soon.

I ALSO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Finished Keyboard Cat


I made his nose pink and his eyes closed, per Tim request. KBC will be ready to make the big move.

Yes indeedy, I have started packing, for the end of my Massachusetts Residence AND Vista is at hand.



For Realzies!

Monday = Blogday

It might hit 90 degrees today in ol' crappy Boston-town! Hooray?

My day started bright and early at 6:15, which meant I was a zombie. Whenever I get up early, my brain is all confused. I never know what I should wear, I have to check the weather 2 or 3 times, and I wander in and out of the bathroom forgetting whatever it was that made me go in there in the first place.

One thing that I DID remember was to start downloading episode 208 of True Blood. We all have to have priorities.



I'm totally into Sheriff Eric in the show, but I'm totally not into what he's selling in real life. I shouldn't have Google Image Searched him :(

TEN THUMBS DOWN! Don't worry, once he's got that track suit and slicked back hair goin on I'll be into it again.

BTW: When I googled "Eric True Blood," a Dr. Eric Trueblood in Bloomington, IN showed up. Best name ever in the worst state ever!

At 7am, I went to a dreamworld of magic: my dentist's office. Hooray.

Oh yes, I broke my temporary crown on Saturday at a birthday party while eating pita chips. I then broke another tooth by chewing on said broken crown.

My dentist fixed me up and sent me on my way, sans 500 dollars. If you're keeping track out there, that brings the total up to 3500, which is the going rate for about 4 months of full time VISTA work. Believe it.

When I was just about to leave, the dentist told me it was a shame that I was moving, because I'm such a great patient. Of course, he meant to say, because your teeth are awful and I got bills to pay.

Now I got a new tooth, molded out of nothing but a song and a prayer and tooth colored composite and 500 dollars, much like yours truly.

HEY! FOUR MORE DAYS!

Snaggley

Tim and I picked up the keys and signed the lease to our new house in Portsmouth on Saturday! Our land lady is nice. Too nice. Midwest nice! She told us we could park at her house if we wanted to go to the beach and if the house was open, we could use the bathroom too. Janet, you're the best already.

That's what our backyard looks like! Lots of shade from old maple trees, none of which reside in our yard.

We then went up to Maine to get some of Flo's special hot dogs, and a trip to Yummies, which is a giant candy store. Obvi bought some gummi bears and peanut brittle.



Flo's hot dogs are good, even though the ingredients are a bit strange. Also, I had a Moxie soda (as seen behind the hot dog in the picture). No clue what's in that. Tim said it tasted like the dentist. Having been to a dentist this morning, I will disagree. Flo's sauce is some sort of secret onion/molasses deal. Which is delicious. Very snappy hot dogs. I would most def go back.

Then on Sunday, I broke my tooth! As you may or may not know, I have two crowns on my front teeth, because one of them up and died on me about five years ago. The left crown decided to bail on me yesterday, probably due to several factors: my teeth grinding, my nail biting, and my consumption of peanut brittle. The last straw was when I didnt use it to eat some delicious nuggs. It dropped off my real tooth in protest.



I spared you the close up picture of that. It was too snaggley for blog use.

So I went to a dentist this morning and was told several horrifying things: 1) I have to wear a mouth guard, 2) that mouth guard is 800 dollars, 3) the new tooth is 2000 dollars, 4) I probably have a cavity. In GOOD news, instead of taking 3 months for my crown, they are taking some sort of digital scan of my tooth and making the crown in house, so it will be a 4 hour appointment and I will be done! The dentist there is super nice and very knowledgeable, so that 3000 dollar bill is made somewhat better. Just kidding, no it's not.

I was so distraught because of my snaggle status that I couldn't concentrate on the task at hand - which was LSAT studying. Instead, I focused on keyboard catting.



Look! Rorschach keyboard cat!

To All Maine Points

We went to Maine this weekend! I did not see any moose or seadogs. I demand my money back. (?) We did go to Ogunquit Lobster Pound, as recommended by our local food reviewing tv show - the Phantom Gourmet. If you don't know anything about the Phantom, the main gist is they want to make you real fat, so I usually trust their choices. You tell the man how much lobster you want to stuff your face with, and then they pick some out of a holding tank, weigh them, and in mere seconds, throw them to their watery deaths into a giant vat of boiling seawater.



This is the only known picture in existence of our lobsters, pre-vat of boiling water.



We also ordered steamers (clams). They are weird looking. But really good! Oh and yes, you peel the clam away from the weird brown outside membrane, which Tim called the foreskin. Groooosssss. I'm not usually the biggest fan of lobster, but I think it was a combination of being in Maine, eating outside, and summertime that made this lobster super delicious. Also, lots of butter does not hurt.



This is where Tim surfs. I would take up surfing just to see this on the reg. We're moving to New Hampshire!

Apparently it's called a "Web log"

I saw this "gem" when I stopped at Citibank to get some cash.

Tim and I were in New Hampshire yesterday looking at an "apartment." By "apartment" I really mean half of a brick house in a neighborhood called Atlantic Heights, WHICH I found out today was one of the nation's first housing projects. For realsies. That seems very fitting. No pictures yet but I'm very fond of it. And, if we live there, we will be able to see Maine from our window, making us the Palins of NH. Developmentally disabled child notwithstanding.

Then we went to a flatbread pizza place, which is um maybe too "earthy" and "organic" but nonetheless delicious. Our clean cut, vanilla looking waiter had two tattoos running down the back of his arms. Left: Don't Tread on Me (complete with cut up snake) and Right: Live Free or Die. Oh New Hampshire.

I'm drinking this diet Orange Crush and wondering why I think neon orange colored things are presumably okay to ingest. I just can't help it, I love orange soda.

When I was little, I would often have snacks of orange juice and cheetos, not only because OJ was usually the only juice we had in the house and Cheetos were my mom's favorite junk food, but because I really liked the idea of only eating things that were one color.

By the way, I can still drink orange juice disturbingly quickly, as a remnant of my OJ filled past.

I bought a bunch of birthday cards from fomato, and this card perfectly encapsulates what I want someone to do for my birthday. I obvi am going to send this to my sister. In 4 months. When it is finally her birthday. I couldn't help buying it! I loved it too much!!! I really like fomato items. I think possibly because they mostly relate to eating. If I ever open the über-shoppe (you have to pronounce it shop-E) of my dreams, fomato will be included.

I'm nervous about the future and moving. I realized this after I noticed I had already bitten three of my nails on my left hand. Now they are hurty. BOO URNS.

Less than a month of AmeriCorps left! If you want to be precise, which I want you to, it's only TWENTY more working days. EEEEEEEEEEEEEE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

July never seemed so strange

Clouds... still here. We had four glorious days of sunshine (okay, maybe more like 3 and half) but yesterday was more familiar - downpouring at 60 degrees. It's hard to think about other things when the weather is like this. Every conversation you have with anyone will at one point reference this terrible weather. Seriously. Come on Boston, I know you have it in you!

Speaking of Boston, I am maybe 15% through Infinite Jest, and it's really good, even though I still miss a lot of Boston location references. It's hard when people ask me what its about though, since I still borderline have no idea. I mean. Wheelchair assassins, hundreds of characters, a psuedo future, "The Entertainment," tennis, addiction, sponsored year names ("Year of the Whopper"), giant feral infants, 11 page footnotes... how am I supposed to explain all of that? Regardless. It's good. It draws you in. Also DFW grew up in Champaign, so I feel a faux connection to him (just like Dave Eggers and Dan Savage, who both went to U of I). Sometimes I pick it up, start reading, and have to put it down because I know my brain won't be able to process it that day. Also sometimes my puny muscles can't handle it since the book itself is ginormous.

Speaking of my puny muscles, I went rock climbing for the first time ever yesterday! It was amazing. Although I scraped my elbow and my muscles are a little sore today, I made it to the top of the 27 foot wall! Yay! Also learned to tie some nice knots. If i was a girl scout I would definitely want to get a merit badge in knot tying. I think it's cool. (Shut up)

Speaking of lame things I think are cool, I started working on a Keyboard Cat cross stitch... ehehehehehehe. If you haven't seen keyboard cat, I would recommend you watch it here

It is going to be a key piece of decor for our new apartment. Location (of keyboard cat AND apartment) to be determined. In New Hampshire. Yes, I'm moving to New Hampshire!!!!!!!!!

Clouds! Rocks! Ocean! New England! Yay!

Tim and I were talking the other day and wondering: where the FUCK is Old Zealand?

Oh and remember to be impressed today when the clock reads: 12:34.56 7/8/09

BE IMPRESSED, I SAID!!!!!!!!!!!!!

June Gloom

I felt really good all yesterday and then when I came home, I fell asleep reading Infinite Jest and when I woke up, I felt awful again. Damn you fake swine flu. It's the kind of sickness that never allows you to fully catch your breath and just makes me audibly sigh all day long. Maybe I would have been doing that anyways.

I think this extended spell of cloudy days has ushered me into seasonal affective disorder. Paired with unexpected deaths, the DPC, and other goings on has made me very ruminative. Um, sorry.

Last Sunday was what was supposed to be my mother's 61st birthday. Well, I guess it still was. I think when you first start dealing with death, you convince yourself that you're going to get over it. You know, like thats a natural part of healing. That's why the first year someone is gone is such a big deal. Its for you to start "Getting Over It" and "Heal." I think maybe thats why the second year has been so hard for me, because I started realizing that I would never Get Over It, really. Not saying I don't think I'll heal, but you know what I mean. I don't know, maybe it's a realization that there's just going to be a space in the rest of my life with every accomplishment, every happy moment, every holiday, every anything. That's okay though. Maybe that's nice. Maybe that's the last real way she can be there in my life.

OOOOOOOOOOOOOO that got heavy. I've been too contemplative recently. Why can't the sun come out and stay out and change my brain chemicals?

I think today we should all hug someone we love for a long time. Yay.

Sorrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrry

Sorry I haven't written lately except to put up embarrassing pictures of J and G, but I've been all sorts of out of sorts. SO I'LL MAKE THIS ONE REAL GOOD, I PROMISE.

...

IS IT GOOD YET? (you don't have to lie to me)

Saturday! My savior! If this forecast changes in the next five days, I am going to burn this city down. It has been 60 degrees and rain-misting every day for the past 3 weeks, with the exception of MAYBE two days. One of those days I went with S to Winthrop Beach and while we got a tan (kinda), we had to hide under the gusts of wind. I obviously immediately got sick. TEN THUMBS DOWN! But we also got gigantic ice cream cones, so I'm going to upgrade my rating to FIVE THUMBS DOWN!

Lots of stuff has happened these past few weeks. I got excited about the new iPhones. MPS escaped the Trib Company and came out here for a visit and a Sox game. I watched He's Just Not That Into You at the Red Cross and then found 20 dollars on the sidewalk. (prob from a drug deal gone awry). S and I went on the Master Cleanse, and then I fell down a flight of stairs. I ranted and raved about my shitty Nikon camera to anyone that would listen / read my tweets (I blame Ashton Kutcher). I saw the Dirty Projectors with Gordo and was confused at the mix of people present in the Somerville Theater. I got a new iPhone. I made friends with Gov Deval Patrick

Y lo que ahora?

The online book club for reading Infinite Jest (called Infinite Summer) started yesterday, and I'm excited to get going with that. I've had IJ on my bookshelf / under a table in the family room for awhile but just couldn't get very far in the book. This is an undertaking that will involve multiple bookmarks, notations, deadlines, and usage of a notebook. (Wait, this kind of sounds like school...)

Maybe I'll get serious on you for a few minutes.

Um no, just kidding. Maybe later.

Tim and I went to a pet store in the Saugus Mall yesterday. There was an adorable black pug and a papillion. Good thing we didn't have an extra thousand dollars in our pockets.

38 more working days as a VISTA. Seriously guys, it's almost over.

Real Quick...

...before I go to bed.

These are the first two pictures on my iphoto

Hahahaha

It was a really nice weekend, the kind that makes you want to faceplant on your desk Monday morning.

Tim and I did some gardening... wait, I meant "gardening"


I went with the Urban Gardener brand of herbs and T contributed a smiley mahogany man with india ink hair. We have basil, thyme, sage, rosemary, and cilantro.



He also decided to create an ad for MiracleGro Moisture control potting soil with his hibiscus. And part of a surfboard.

Of course, after we had planted our new garden... "garden," I poked at all the herbs every chance I got, we obsessed over them, and said things like, "I think they're really settling in!" T reminded me we would lose interest in a few days. That's probably true.

We went to IKEA and Home Depot (not once, but TWICE! for gardening supplies) this weekend, which makes it official, we are living some sort of yuppie dream.

Our weekend with the LegoLegend

Spoiler alert: the zoo is just as you remember it, except not as cool.

Being home was really nice, but I would also venture to call it exhausting. It just felt pretty non stop, even with intermittent napping.


We went to Hot Dougs! Totally worth the wait. Although Tim and I were talking about it yesterday and I don't think there was one normal hot dog in that whole bunch. Hmm..

We also drank lots of Mexican Coke, had a Nachorama, went on an architectural boat tour (please pronounce this as TUR), played with lots of Legos, saw Night at the Museum 2, loved on all the animals, had dim sum in Chinatown, and obvi ate a lot of delicious foods. Joey was crazier than ever and had several new dances to show off. He also told us his nickname is Joey Lego Legend and that "you guys are always tagonizing me!!!" Tim almost got sexually assaulted by him on the last day and endured several beatings from Joey when he had Wolverine Claws on. As a reference, imagine this child as Joey but with two claws on and running at you full speed while yelling and brandishing said claws. Oh they also make slashing noises!


Terrifying and hilarious to watch.

I think we were both certainly very glad to go home to a quiet apartment with no dogs or kids. I would post more pictures but all the pictures I took were of that polar bear and hot dogs. I am so lame.

No Boaning...

Don't even think about it.

Rant of the day

Okay Asian people. I understand that we are a relatively hairless people. I get it. I'm one of you. Now, I am going to ask you WHY THE FUCK YOU ARE LETTING YOUR HAIRY MOLES RUIN MY DAY!? There is no way you are looking in the mirror at the fucking gigantic mole on your face with the tufts of hair coming out of it and thinking to yourself, yes. I am looking good. Seriously. This guy had at least 3 inches of hair coming out of his face mole. Also to put on my list of grievances, women with long, nasty hair on their toes. I mean, really you guys? I know body hair removal is confusing, but there is no way that is okay. 

NO

WAY

Sorry I'm getting all "ignorant white person" on you, but I can't handle this anymore. CAN NOT. Wait, no, I'm not fucking sorry. How is it all the hair you were supposed to have on your arms and legs just fucking went to your moles and toes? This doesn't make sense to me anymore. I hate all of you. I want to throw up.

SIXTY DAYS. DEEP BREATHS, MICHELLE.

End rant. 

Walking around in my summertime clothes

One thing I love about the beginning of summer is the annual cheesy "OMG It's Finally Summer" playlist. All songs about parties and bullshit, and picking up girls, and being in love, and all of the good stuff that comes around only when the weather outside is accommodating. 

I like checking isiticedcoffeeweather.com, it is very reaffirming. Is it iced coffee weather in Boston 02111 today? YES. Duly noted. I have bought an iced Vietnamese coffee. So good. 

Here is a picture of the tiny necklace I bought at the Designboom mart. I've always been really fascinated by sealife. Besides whales, dolphins, sharks, and whatever bullshit other large creatures exist down there, I think smaller sealife is really interesting. So I saw this at the Odette NY booth, and was really fond of it. It's a bit girlier than things I am normally attracted to - kissing seahorses is very relatable to lame crafts and etsy in my mind - and I like how the design isn't too refined. ALSO, seahorses mate for life and the males carry the babies. What I'm trying to tell you is that the seahorse female is living the dream. MY dream.

I leave for IL, or as Tim calls it, "Illy," at 6AM on Friday. Yay! My sister and Kory seem to be getting increasing agitated. She's already made a complete meal plan and Kory has been texting me inane things all day. Actual texts:

• "Does tim like sushi...we could do sushirama on sat nite"
• "What else should I get for him does he eat or drink anything special"
• "What does tim drink? Pop? Beer? Sparkling water? Prune juice?"
• "What are we doing on Friday? Zoo? Thrifting? Garage sales? Will he drink coors light? If I don't have the closet doors up will u be embarrassed... oh shit. Is Tim afraid of closets??"
• "Zoo sounds fun. I'll see if I can get the day off from work"

The last one is especially weird because I'm like 98% sure that Kory is still a stay at home Dad. Haha. Oh the family. My father is currently obsessed with me getting a fixed gear bike to ride around. You know, because he told me it's the cool new thing that all the young people are riding in Brooklyn. I'm down for riding a bike but I am not down with a fixie. Did you know you CANT STOP PEDALLING!? What the fuck. I need my coasting time. 

Ahhhhhhhhhh I'm here! I'm here!!!

I just got back from New York after helping Tim with ICFF crayon business. We laughed (people watching was great), we cried (standing all day in a 10 sq foot area was sad), we high fived (sometimes a high five just feels right), we stopped high fiving (we were doing it too much), we drank coffee (very early mornings and very long days), we contributed to the cash-hole (we liked to throw money in the pit), we entertained stupid questions (seriously, strange questions), we smiled until our faces hurt (it was like sorority rush), we slowly went crazy (you would too), we both saw someone named TOBIAS FUNK and freaked out (no seriously, his name was Tobias Funk), we ate steaks with fried eggs on top (Brazil, you are good to me), and we had a good time (I am definitely going to move to New York). 

Anyways. It was obvi my first time at such an event and I saw a lot of really cool things that I loved and wanted. Like a 6000 dollar bathtub, a 1700 dollar chair, a low canopy bed with dip dyed curtains, and a giant IKEA bowl that looks like the hat Madeline wears.

I also bought some really nice bowls (you know how I love bowls) from another mart participant - studiomake.

So nice. The bowls have unique drips from when they took the porcelain out. I also bought some jewelry, because that's just what I do.

There were a few cute kids who were at the booth, including this one Asian girl who wanted both a brown and gray crayon ring. Unfortunately, the gray one was only the size model and we couldn't give it to her, although I don't think it stopped her from wanting it. Hmm I should have creepily taken a picture of her.

Our hotel was in Brooklyn (nu hotel... missing umlaut!!!) and had a chalkboard wall in the bathroom. I requested a cat and a doughnut with sprinkles and so Tim drew two love vignettes. I'm a little smudgey in the picture and Tim reminds me of Conan OBrien. Still, I'm pretty fond of this picture.

If you think I took any more pictures this weekend, you would be mistaken, because, once again, I suck. 

I always feel really impressed with Asian guys with good moustaches. Is that just me? Like, I feel really proud of them, like good for you, the other Asian guys who can't grow facial hair must be totally jealous. Right?

Every time I talk to NKQ, we talk about how many days are left in our year. Not including weekends, there are only 62 days. Oh thank goodness.

EDIT: just found a pic of that sweet hat/bowl 

I've been extra groggy these past few mornings, and if you have ever experienced Michelle in the Mornings, you know I am not the most coherent of people. My allergies have been "poppin off" as the kids would say (would they?) and yesterday my left eye was swollen for about three hours. I believe Tim has hexed me with his allergies. 

Anyways. What happens after I drag myself into work is that I'll drink some coffee. And then immediately feel like I'm going to throw up. While still yawning. 

I know. Life is hard. 

NLB came in last weekend, and it was, in two words, a Big Game.

I would put up some pictures, but I obviously didn't take any. Because I suck. BUT! You could imagine how great they would have been, yeah?

It's all cloudy and about to rain outside. I wish I was in bed. 

Oh well, this was just an awful blog post. Sorry. I'll make it up to you next time.

I'm hungry

I have some random things in my pictures folder. 

Forecast

Aw, come on!

MAY!

I'm pretty excitable today, even though I woke up very very tired and grumpy. Sorry for being grumpy in the morning, Tim. (I was going to put a LOLcat picture here but I decided not to be totally fucking lame and save my last shred of dignity / coolness)((internet dignity / coolness))

Anyways, WHY AM I SO EXCITED???? 

1. May has always been the beginning of summer. I'm getting super excited for No Pants Summer 2009! I'm also excited to be constantly sweating underneath my bangs. But no pants joy should even out the hot bang sadness. Did I just seriously write the phrase "hot bang sadness"?
   
   
2. I'm volunteering with NKQ at HK tomorrow! Horses! Cats! No Asians! Ahhh!!! (Wait, are there Asians here?) But seriously. Her non-profit is all about theraputic horseback riding, so I'm going to do some direct service for a change, instead of this capacity building bullshit. Also, there are cats I'm going to play with. YES. Fuck, I just lost that last shred of dignity / coolness. Whatevs, you all knew the truth. 
   
   
3. NLB comes to visit next weekend!!!!! 305 is finally going to be reunited in Boston and I couldn't be more excited!  
   
    
4. Tim is doing the Designboom Mart at ICFF (International Contemporary Furniture Fair... yeah I googled that shit) and I'm tagging along to help him sell some rings. And to enact my newest money making scheme: charming the pants off of people and then stealing their wallets. This plan is foolproof. 
   
   
5. Joey turns 5 (!) which means he's one year closer to fulfilling his dream of becoming a Chicago Bear who is also a rock star (because he rocks out) and the fastest man alive that lives in a big house with his auntie, Kory, his mommy, Kirby, Emma, and Lucy and we all play MarioKart all day and have parties all the time and rock out and have a boat. I am definitely counting on all of his dreams coming true. He also told me that in this house, we would eat ice cream and pizza whenever we wanted. Awesome. 
   
   
6. I'm going hooooooooome Memorial Day weekend! And then my sister and I are going to Hot Dougs! And we're going to get Hot Doug-ed in the FACE! (???) And get duck fat fries! And then Tim is going to come! And my family is going to scare him! I hope not. Anyways. Excited to get home, eat some delicious food, love on some wonderful animals, squish Joey, and see the fam. 
   
   
7. On May 24th, I will only have 100 days left in the CORPS, which is at once thrilling and terrifying, because that means I probably need to start thinking about my next steps. 
   
   
8. Last, and certainly not least, the wonderful month of May is not only Asian Pacific American Heritage month here in the Bay State, it is also National Hamburger Month! I will give you one guess as to which one excites me more. ONE GUESS.
   
   

HOORAYYYYYYYYYYYYYY

After all of my whining and bitching and crying about the cold weather, fake summer / real spring is finally here! YES. We did it, everyone. Congrats. High of 92 degrees here today.. KABOOOOOOOOOOOM sun explosion!!!!!!!!! Don't worry, back to 60 degrees tomorrow.



In the one week where the weather has been awesome, I have already gotten sunburnt. YESSSSSS. My lifelong dream of getting skin cancer is one step closer to becoming realized. I know, that's not funny. Anyways, I read Mysteries of Pittsburgh by Michael Chabon outside on Saturday and I now have some major swimsuit tan lines. Following up on that book name drop, Mysteries is spectacular, and I really enjoyed it.



I had been meaning to read this one for awhile, since I've read a decent amount of his other novels, and when I saw this adorable cover at the Harvard Book Store, I had to pick one up. Anyways, this new cover is for Harper Perennial's Olive Edition and the other two, which I also liked, I also already owned. And seriously, who needs two copies of Unbearable Lightness of Being and Everything is Illuminated? Also, how did they end up picking these three books? I just started Jhumpa Lahiri's Interpreter of Maladies last night and it is pretttttttttyyyyyy good. Sorry I just talked about books for way too long without saying anything of substance.

Nicoolio and I spent last Sunday wandering throughout the city. Some things we did: Crossed through the Greek Parade on Boylston, took the commuter rail from Back Bay to South Station, had a helpful bus driver in Dior shades, had a beer at the Legal Test Kitchen, went to the Harpoon Brewery, schmoozed the brewery workers (okay, I didn't do this so much), got kind of drunk, wandered into the Puma party next to the ICA, saw Usain Bolt, went to the Barking Crab, then took the T up to Harvard, where we ate dinner at the Border Cafe. It was awesome. My calves still hurt from walking. All of this from a day where we were supposed to go sailing. Good trade off.

I had a weird dream a few nights ago which ended in me eating gummi worms. I am eating gummi worms now, and they are just as good as I dreamt they were. I am going to revive my summertime ritual of eating a Vietnamese sandwich in the Public Garden today. YES.

Wonder no more!

This is in fact, what I would look like with a creeper's lens.

I love MWP's unbelievable Microsoft Paint skills. Skillz?

So a little more than one week left in April, wait how did that happen again? Oh fuck, it's Wednesday and not Thursday. It is simultaneously later than and earlier than I had thought.

The news keeps telling me that its going to be 80 degrees this weekend and I keep getting more excited. Tim says not to get my hopes up until it happens, but I think that’s his defense mechanism for being his own sweatshop crayon ring labor and being trapped inside.



Okay, I think he’s actually making a box in that picture, but you get the idea.

EXCITING NEWS! G is moving back to Boston this weekend from SD. Wait, he just told me he’s going to make me watch all the seasons of The Wire. Fuck. I take it back. This news is no longer exciting, it is terrifying.

I was creeping outside our living room window a few days ago to figure out the weather, and I noticed something weird across the street. On the 3rd floor of the building across from us, some one had written (in masking tape): I AM SORRY and then further down the pane: I LOVE YOU. It was still there this morning. I wonder what that's all about. I tried to take a picture, but was too far away and do not own a gigantic creeper's lens


I googled giant creep lens and this picture came up. Imagine how cool I would look with that.

No one is left in the office, mayhaps I shall wander home now?

First Day of Sandals

This made me laugh this morning, because sometimes I feel the same way. Also, Taiwan Cafe is spectacular.

So yes, I finally got my hair cut AND I got bangs. I have already been told I look like I'm 15. Which makes me paranoid. Good job new haircut, you have made me insecure. I don't have any pictures because I am extremely adverse to self portraiture, it tends not to go so well for me.

The worst thing about cutting bangs is that you spend the next week indiscriminately snipping pieces of hair and oh, now you've done it, your fringe is all weird looking. Also, sometimes I catch a glimpse of my reflection in a window or mirror, and I won't recognize myself. Also, people think you're 15.

Ahhhhhhh it's nice outside today! I'm wearing sandals! It's going to be 70! I'm going to leave work early and frolic outside. Just kidding, when is the last time you saw me frolicking anywhere? But I AM going to leave work early. Why? Because fuck him, that's why. (did you catch that?) Ahhhh and it's a long weekend! Even more reason to check out of here early. Although, if I go to Newbury, it's going to be lousy with people I want to punch. Hmmmmm worth it.

Seems like only a few days of decent, 50 degree weather made everyone in Boston think that it was safe to go outside scantily clad. (Today: 48 but feels like 41) I saw a lot of streetwalkers / homeless / streetwalking homeless today in their crazy outfits.


THIS OUTFIT IS REAL! and totally amazing. (yes, there is a jean "skirt" over the actual jeans)

I am getting a haircut in 40 minutes for the first time since February 2008 and have no idea what I want... oh boy.

I made a gigantic sandwich to take to work this morning. I have been on a sandwich kick. You know how sometimes you get obsessed with a type of food and you just constantly crave it? Thats me and sandwiches. I blame Spain.

I ate blackberries all morning and it was spectacular. Except you can't really bite down on them because of the seeds, so it involves squishing only. Or... is that just me?

You know how when you search for something on ebay, it gives you the "best match" first? How are they determining the best matches? Is this an extra feature you have to pay for when you are selling? The best matches are always the worst. Continuing with this ebay topic, it's the WORST when you have a positive Paypal balance because then you think you're not really spending money at all, since it wasn't in your bank account to start with. No, just me again?

I painted my nails today and am currently breaking in a pair of Delmans. My excuse for buying them was that I had no all navy shoes and so I should buy some to make wearing navy less prohibitive. My family used to joke that I had refrigerator feet - little rectangles that refused to be stuffed into children's shoes and sometimes, I think that's still true.

This is my first spring in a completely urban setting and I've been missing the tree blossoms, crocuses, tulips, hyacinths, lilacs, and all of those other signs that are so common. Every spring when I was younger, I would huff on the lilacs and hyacinths to breathe in as much of the scent as possible. I wish I could do that right now.

I have a secret. I am still not unpacked. I know. I suck.

Rainy Saturday

Oh my, it's already 5:40 PM. FIVE : FORTY PM and I haven't done anything yet!! Oh, besides go to Whole Foods and pick up some of these:


YES. Awesome. Okay actually I like roasted beets better than pickled beets, but they are still pretty good.

So vacation was good, but it's really good to be home now. We came, we saw, we ate 5 meals a day, and now I have an extra 5 jamon pounds on me. Worth it.


That's a bunch of cold meats we had in London, including some bologna like substance that I was totally into. Mmmmmm nameless pork meats. I mean NO! NO CURED PORK, MICHELLE, RESIST!

Ooooh Tim and I stopped by JP Licks on the way home last night and I got a Chocolate Chip Cookie / Peanut Butter swirled soft serve. It was amazing.

You guys, I should seriously weigh 300 pounds and I am very thankful that I do not.

NB just told me that our friends got engaged last night! Holy F, I had homeroom with him in 7th grade! Ahhhhh, this is the first couple in our "group" that has gotten engaged. I hear from here on out its just one after another... !! We're getting ooooooold.

I saw the cutest brown Boston Terrier on the T yesterday, I almost died. I didnt know that Boston Terriers could be brown. Maybe it was a reject from shows :( In Spain, I kept on seeing the cutest French Bulldogs


and then whining about how I wanted one... sigh. One day!!!!

I'm wearing Tim's scarf that I have absconded with and it is prettyyyy warm. Thanks Tim!

Things I am going to do when I get home:

1. Sleep for an entire day
2. Hug Tim for as long as he can stand it
3. Go on a pork-free vegetable-only diet for as long as I can stand it
4. Eat some nachos
5. Not walk ANYWHERE
6. Wash / dryclean all of my clothes TWICE to get out the stench of my father's pipe smoke

Kind of sad I missed the Chalayan exhibit at the London Design museum, but having the sandals of my dreams makes up for it a little bit. Last full day in Barcelona tomorrow; the plan is to get Gaudi-ed in the face. And then I'm going to go shopping. Will I come home with drop crotch pants? Only time will tell.

Restless Monday

I hate when you're talking to someone and they make some comment you gloss over and then hours later you're like WAIT A SECOND... was what they said TOTALLY bitchy and passive-aggressive???? 

I am so ready to get out of here. Here meaning this job as well as this place. So. Ready. Hurry up already, I'm done with all of this. I want to move on. 162 days. I'm also currently pissed off it's only 19 degrees here (okay fine, 30, but feels like 19)

The last This American Life I was half listening to (it wasn't that good) was about people's plan B's. The gist of this episode was how life never turns out the way you planned it. At my count, I think I might be on Plan D or E at this point, so I figure I'm getting closer to where I'm supposed to be.  I might not exactly know what I want to do, but I do know what I don't want to do, and I suppose that's better than not knowing anything. Right? RIGHT?!

I'm restless today. More so than usual. One week until Europe... ! Aaaaaaaaaaand I booked a ticket to go back to IL Memorial Day weekend! This is currently the longest I have been away from Illinois. 

Things I have been thinking about a lot: hot summer days on the deck in Schaumburg, sunshine so bright it causes you to lose vision when you go inside, the scent of tomato plants, days when it is warm even when it's windy, sundresses, sandals, oh dear god how isn't it spring yet

Tim, you know "T", my wonderful boyfriend, made some crayon rings that have been generating a lot of "buzz" in the "blogosphere," you know, just making the "blog rounds." But seriously, they are really cute and clever, so you should go look at them here and here and then go buy some here. I would post this picture I have of him working on said crayon rings but unfortunately, he also has my camera. Tim, you better not have deleted that picture. Or else. 

PS: I'm sorry I used the term "blogosphere" 

PPS: I figured I would stop using "T" on this blog since you know, the link I just put up kind of gives away Tim's real life identity. Not that enough people read this to make that important or relevant. Whatevs.

PPPS: Not that Tim or Michelle are particularly uncommon names, but Michelle is also dating a Tim and sometimes that confuses me.

PPPPS: I filed my federal taxes today and I am getting a refund for the first time ever. HIGH FIVE. Making no money by volunteering full time DOES pay after all! 

Today is especially dull

• So I assume you have read somewhere that Kenley from Project Runway was arrested for assaulting her ex-fiance with a cat, a laptop, and three apples, BUT today I found out his name is Zac Penley. Would her name have been Kenley Penley??????? This engagement needs to be back on and this wedding needs to happen.
  
• Today was medical residency match day, which is suspiciously akin to sorority bid day. You rank them... they rank you.. and then you gather and all open your envelopes at the same time. There's crying, there's screaming, there's disappointment, there's matching tshirts and sisterssssssssss (okay, last part only true for one of them)
• Speaking of sisters, I kind of miss mine. Lame, I know.

old pictures

I connected my iphone to my work computer today and it automatically transfered all the pictures. Here are some gems I found:

1. A note from the Best Buy at the corner of Mass Ave and Newbury.. I found this hilarious. Were the employees using the vacuums to vacuum or for more sinister things? I don't know. I don't want to know.


2. Me squishing Joey's face at a Target this past summer because he couldn't make the fishy face himself. Also, he happens to be obsessed with looking at pictures of himself. This kid is going to LOVE facebook.


3. The OG, Kirby. I swear, if I come home one day and it turns out that Kirby is dead and no one bothered to tell me (note: this happened in college), my sister is going to get the beating of a lifetime (note: she would kick my ass).


4. CHRIS MARTIN HIMSELF proposing to S outside of a random Italian Eatery. That's right everyone. It happened, and I have proof. Chris liked it and he was going to put a ring on it but turns out she hates him. A common story.